The trend of 3D blockbuster movies continues with this week's release of Clash of the Titans, a film which delves into the rich world of Greek mythology.
It tells the story of the hero Perseus as he battles a host of fearsome creatures including giant scorpions, a huge sea monster called the Kraken and the terrifying Medusa with writhing snakes instead of hair.
Perseus is played by Australian actor Sam Worthington, who made his name as the lead in Avatar, and who seems to be enjoying his sudden rise to international fame. Talking about filming Clash of the Titans, he said:
"Some movies you do because they're a hell of a lot of fun. That's what this one was. Me in a skirt with a rubber sword, killing monsters. It ain't that hard. That's a good day at the office."
It's not all swords and fighting
The film also features Irish actor Liam Neeson as Zeus, King of the Gods and father of Perseus, and British actor Ralph Fiennes as Hades, the evil Lord of the Underworld.
This year's film is a remake of a 1981 version of the same name, though the look and feel of the two could not be more different.
The original film made use of stop-motion technology to bring model monsters to life. This painstaking technique animates models by moving them in tiny increments one frame at a time and photographing each frame individually.
These days of course CGI and 3D technology allow directors to realise even their wildest visual fantasies.
Nonetheless, the film's French director Louis Leterrier and the cast and crew still wanted to pay homage to the original movie.
Actress Alexa Davalos, who plays Perseus' love interest in the film, said:
"There's a tip of the hat to the original throughout. It was a labour of love to the original. We all really want to honour it. I hope we did that."
4.10.2010
4.05.2010
Jennifer Aniston's Sedu Hairstyles Are Hot!!!
Perhaps by now you have heard about the many celebrities with Sedu Hairstyles. One of the most well known people is Jennifer Aniston and her Sedu Hairstyles The Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyles have made some news on the web recently. Due to the popularity of Jennifer Aniston, her Sedu Hairstyles are likewise, very newsworthy and of interest to many people.
The recent introduction and availability of the Sedu Flat irons has increased their recognition exponentially. The resulting popularity in Sedu Hairstyles has grown right along with it. Whether you are looking for a Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyle or some other type of Sedu Hairstyle, it is a very easy effect to achieve with the Sedu Flat irons.
Just a few of the Celebrity Sedu Hairstyles include the hairstyles of such popular stars as Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez, Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, Jessica Alba and a host of others who sport new Sedu Celebrity Hairstyles. While not everybody can successfully wear the Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyles, it is easy with the Sedu Flat Irons to wear a Sedu Hairstyle exactly the same as some of your favorite celebrities do.
The Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyle features Jennifer’s newly straightened hair with barely noticeable flip-ins at the bottom. The Angelina Jolie Sedu Hairstyle features more of a classically long and straight look. All of these Sedu Hairstyles and many more are easy to achieve with the Sedu Flat irons.
Whatever Sedu Hairstyles appeal to you personally, be sure not to limit yourself to any one Sedu Hairstyle, even if it is good enough for someone like Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba or some other star who is not sporting a Sedu Hairstyle. One of the most popular concepts with the Sedu flat irons is the ability to create Sedu hairstyles that are personalized to each individual user of the Sedu Flat irons. You can use the Sedu Flat irons to start with a Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyle and then add a little flare to it like with a Jennifer Lopez Sedu Hairstyle.
Whether you want to sport a Sedu Hairstyle like the Britney Spears Sedu Hairstyles, the Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyles, or maybe something a little more flashy like the Paris Hilton Sedu Hairstyle or the Hillary Duff Sedu Hairstyle, it is easy to do with the Sedu Flat iron.
The unique patented design and construction of the Sedu Flat irons uses negatively charged ions and infrared heating technology in order to create better looking and longer lasting Celebrity Sedu Hairstyles that will look great on anybody. The ease of use with the Sedu Flat irons makes it possible for even the beginner to create Celebrity Sedu Hairstyles.
So whether you are looking for the Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyles, the Angelina Jolie Sedu Hairstyles, the Paris Hilton Sedu Hairstyles it is now easy for you to do. Or maybe you just want to create and experiment with your own Celebrity Sedu Hairstyles, you really cannot do it without using the Sedu Flat irons. Try starting with the Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyles and adding little personal touches to it to create your own individual Sedu Hairstyles.
For more information about how to create your very own Sedu Hairstyle, please go to Sedu Hairstyles
The recent introduction and availability of the Sedu Flat irons has increased their recognition exponentially. The resulting popularity in Sedu Hairstyles has grown right along with it. Whether you are looking for a Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyle or some other type of Sedu Hairstyle, it is a very easy effect to achieve with the Sedu Flat irons.
Just a few of the Celebrity Sedu Hairstyles include the hairstyles of such popular stars as Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez, Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, Jessica Alba and a host of others who sport new Sedu Celebrity Hairstyles. While not everybody can successfully wear the Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyles, it is easy with the Sedu Flat Irons to wear a Sedu Hairstyle exactly the same as some of your favorite celebrities do.
The Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyle features Jennifer’s newly straightened hair with barely noticeable flip-ins at the bottom. The Angelina Jolie Sedu Hairstyle features more of a classically long and straight look. All of these Sedu Hairstyles and many more are easy to achieve with the Sedu Flat irons.
Whatever Sedu Hairstyles appeal to you personally, be sure not to limit yourself to any one Sedu Hairstyle, even if it is good enough for someone like Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba or some other star who is not sporting a Sedu Hairstyle. One of the most popular concepts with the Sedu flat irons is the ability to create Sedu hairstyles that are personalized to each individual user of the Sedu Flat irons. You can use the Sedu Flat irons to start with a Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyle and then add a little flare to it like with a Jennifer Lopez Sedu Hairstyle.
Whether you want to sport a Sedu Hairstyle like the Britney Spears Sedu Hairstyles, the Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyles, or maybe something a little more flashy like the Paris Hilton Sedu Hairstyle or the Hillary Duff Sedu Hairstyle, it is easy to do with the Sedu Flat iron.
The unique patented design and construction of the Sedu Flat irons uses negatively charged ions and infrared heating technology in order to create better looking and longer lasting Celebrity Sedu Hairstyles that will look great on anybody. The ease of use with the Sedu Flat irons makes it possible for even the beginner to create Celebrity Sedu Hairstyles.
So whether you are looking for the Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyles, the Angelina Jolie Sedu Hairstyles, the Paris Hilton Sedu Hairstyles it is now easy for you to do. Or maybe you just want to create and experiment with your own Celebrity Sedu Hairstyles, you really cannot do it without using the Sedu Flat irons. Try starting with the Jennifer Aniston Sedu Hairstyles and adding little personal touches to it to create your own individual Sedu Hairstyles.
For more information about how to create your very own Sedu Hairstyle, please go to Sedu Hairstyles
Laser hair removal - what is it?!!!
Laser hair removal has been around for sometime. It's considered to be one of the safest ways for permanent hair removal. Laser hair removal is a low-energy laser applied over the area of unwanted hair. Low-energy laser damages the hair follicles. The hair gets burned-out without damaging skin or any other tissues.
When laser hair removal is done professionally, there's a patch test first. This way you'll get the right laser and intensity. Don't let anybody treat you without doing patch test. One of the main benefits of laser hair removal is that it can be done on a large area of the body in one session. Procedure is little bit uncomfortable and many people experience little pain, but it doesn't require anesthesia. Local or topical anesthetic is usually applied if person experiences a higher degree of discomfort.
Treatment is very effective. After several sessions, about 95 percent of unwanted hair has been removed. One huge benefit of laser hair removal is that it doesn't require any medications, needles or follow-ups. You don't need to go to hospital either.
After laser hair removal session, skin might get little red where treatment was applied. It will not last longer than 24 hours. Unwanted hairs will fall off in 1-2 weeks after treatment.
If you have a darker skin color and you are having a skin-lightening procedure such as bleaching, read carefully. Bleaching procedure should be done before getting laser hair removal treatment. Remember that don't get laser hair removal within 10 days to two weeks after bleaching procedure.
If you want to boost effectiveness of laser hair removal, shave the unwanted hair couple days earlier before treatment. This way laser will have easier access to hair follicles.
When laser hair removal is done professionally, there's a patch test first. This way you'll get the right laser and intensity. Don't let anybody treat you without doing patch test. One of the main benefits of laser hair removal is that it can be done on a large area of the body in one session. Procedure is little bit uncomfortable and many people experience little pain, but it doesn't require anesthesia. Local or topical anesthetic is usually applied if person experiences a higher degree of discomfort.
Treatment is very effective. After several sessions, about 95 percent of unwanted hair has been removed. One huge benefit of laser hair removal is that it doesn't require any medications, needles or follow-ups. You don't need to go to hospital either.
After laser hair removal session, skin might get little red where treatment was applied. It will not last longer than 24 hours. Unwanted hairs will fall off in 1-2 weeks after treatment.
If you have a darker skin color and you are having a skin-lightening procedure such as bleaching, read carefully. Bleaching procedure should be done before getting laser hair removal treatment. Remember that don't get laser hair removal within 10 days to two weeks after bleaching procedure.
If you want to boost effectiveness of laser hair removal, shave the unwanted hair couple days earlier before treatment. This way laser will have easier access to hair follicles.
3.31.2010
Film and television tendency
3-D movies continued to dominate the box office as 'How to Train Your Dragon' became the top-grossing film this weekend.
The DreamWorks animated film took in $43.3 million at the domestic box office in its debut weekend.
In recent months, the 3-D movies 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Avatar' have dominated the charts. Another major 3-D movie, 'Clash of the Titans' (Warner Bros.), starring 'Avatar's' Sam Worthington, is due out this week. (To read more about 'Clash of the Titans,' go here.)
'Alice in Wonderland' (Disney), directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp, placed second this weekend with $17.3 million. The film has grossed $293 million domestically so far.
'Hot Tub Time Machine' (MGM), a fantasy-comedy starring John Cusack, finished third with $13.7 million.
Last week, the Wall Street Journal reported that major U.S. movie-theater chains were imposing steep ticket price increases, largely on 3-D films, because such showings had proved to be popular. The price hikes, which went into effect this weekend, were in at least one case as high as 26%.
Paul Dergarabedian, president of the box-office division of Hollywood.com, said via email that 3-D is proving its appeal to audiences with the success of movies like 'How to Train Your Dragon.' 'Thus far, a 3-D film has topped the box-office chart for nine out of the thirteen weekends of 2010,' Dergarabedian said.
The DreamWorks animated film took in $43.3 million at the domestic box office in its debut weekend.
In recent months, the 3-D movies 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Avatar' have dominated the charts. Another major 3-D movie, 'Clash of the Titans' (Warner Bros.), starring 'Avatar's' Sam Worthington, is due out this week. (To read more about 'Clash of the Titans,' go here.)
'Alice in Wonderland' (Disney), directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp, placed second this weekend with $17.3 million. The film has grossed $293 million domestically so far.
'Hot Tub Time Machine' (MGM), a fantasy-comedy starring John Cusack, finished third with $13.7 million.
Last week, the Wall Street Journal reported that major U.S. movie-theater chains were imposing steep ticket price increases, largely on 3-D films, because such showings had proved to be popular. The price hikes, which went into effect this weekend, were in at least one case as high as 26%.
Paul Dergarabedian, president of the box-office division of Hollywood.com, said via email that 3-D is proving its appeal to audiences with the success of movies like 'How to Train Your Dragon.' 'Thus far, a 3-D film has topped the box-office chart for nine out of the thirteen weekends of 2010,' Dergarabedian said.
Something new: The dinosaur insufficient exterminates because of the sleep
Dinosaurs were most likely killed off because they never got a good night's sleep, scientists have claimed.
Giant meteorites from outer space, fire storms, tidal waves and an ice age have all been suggested by expects to explain the demise of dinosaurs. However, the latest theory to explain their reptilian claims they did not survive because their reptilian sleeping patterns meant their brains did not learn new skills properly.
Unlike mammals and birds, reptiles are unable to experience slow wave sleep, the type of sleep believed to be responsible for boosting memories, especially those connected to performing new tasks. As a result, reptiles are much more limited in the type of complex behavior they can experience than other animals such as mammals and birds.
The implication of new research by Niels Rattenborg, of the Max Planck Institute for ornithology in Germany, is that the inability of dinosaurs--which are ancestors of modern-day reptiles--to experience slow wave sleep may have been one of the reasons why they became extinct. Slow wave--or deep wave leads to enhancements in both learning and physical performance. It effectively shuts down the parts of the brain that have learned new skills and allows this learning to become consolidated without interruption.
Without this crucial ability it could be that, when the earth experienced huge climatic changes towards the end of the era of the dinosaurs, they were unable to pick up sufficient new tricks to learn their way out of extinction.
Giant meteorites from outer space, fire storms, tidal waves and an ice age have all been suggested by expects to explain the demise of dinosaurs. However, the latest theory to explain their reptilian claims they did not survive because their reptilian sleeping patterns meant their brains did not learn new skills properly.
Unlike mammals and birds, reptiles are unable to experience slow wave sleep, the type of sleep believed to be responsible for boosting memories, especially those connected to performing new tasks. As a result, reptiles are much more limited in the type of complex behavior they can experience than other animals such as mammals and birds.
The implication of new research by Niels Rattenborg, of the Max Planck Institute for ornithology in Germany, is that the inability of dinosaurs--which are ancestors of modern-day reptiles--to experience slow wave sleep may have been one of the reasons why they became extinct. Slow wave--or deep wave leads to enhancements in both learning and physical performance. It effectively shuts down the parts of the brain that have learned new skills and allows this learning to become consolidated without interruption.
Without this crucial ability it could be that, when the earth experienced huge climatic changes towards the end of the era of the dinosaurs, they were unable to pick up sufficient new tricks to learn their way out of extinction.
New U.S.-Russia START treaty remains foggy in implementation
U.S. President Barack Obama announced on Friday a new treaty with Russia to replace the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty (START) that expired late last year.
However, considering the two nations' huge nuclear arsenals and sharp differences on missile defense systems, it remains unclear whether the treaty could be effectively implemented.
A MASSIVE CUT
"After a year of intense negotiations, the United States and Russia have agreed to the most comprehensive arms control agreement in nearly two decades," Obama said in his speech to announce the treaty at the White House on the same day.
Negotiated to replace the START treaty that expired on Dec.5, the new agreement would update the mechanism for nuclear disarmament talks between the two sides.
According to the draft, the United States and Russia would reduce their deployed warheads to 1,550 respectively, while the cap on deployed ICBMs, SLBMs, and heavy bombers equipped for nuclear weapons is set at 700.
Information from the Russian media indicates that until 2009, the United States possessed 900 delivery vehicles and 3,500 nuclear warheads, though it only confirms a storage of 2,200, while Russia has 680 vehicles and 2,800 warheads.
ULTERIOR CONSIDERATIONS
"With this agreement, the two largest nuclear powers in the world also send a clear signal that we intend to lead," Obama said in his speech.
Steven Pifer, a disarmament expert with the Brookings Institution, said the new treaty, which will be signed April 8 in Prague, will better position the two countries in the upcoming Nuclear Security Summit in Washington D.C. on April 12-13 and the Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) Review Conference in New York in May.
"The advantage of this treaty is the American delegation is going to have a lot of credibility to ask other countries to find some ways to get past political differences, and come up with measures to strengthen the non-proliferation regime," Pifer said.
Nikolai Makarov, chief of the General Staff of Russia's armed forces, said in Moscow on Friday that the new treaty has dispelled the worries for each other and 100 percent matches the security interests of the Russian Federation.
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev said in a phone conversation with Obama that the treaty "reflects balance of interests of both states."
QUESTIONED PROSPECTS
Presently, the combined nuclear weaponry at the disposal of the U.S. and Russia amounts to 95 percent of the world's total storage. The number would continue to stand above 90 percent should one third of those nuclear arms be destroyed as the treaty demands.
Taking their massive nuclear weapons stockpiles into account, the international community deems it's quite distant a goal to build a world free from nuclear arms.
What's more worrisome is that the two parties have been intensively divergent on the missile defense system in Eastern Europe, which fogs the treaty's future implementation.
Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said Russia is entitled to suspend the reduction of its strategic nuclear weapons if the United States continue with its deployment of a missile defense system in Europe.
Congressional ratification is also a decisive element. For the treaty to be ratified, it has to win 67 votes in the 100-seat U.S. Senate.
Experts said the conservative senators have held from the beginning a consistent dissent over the treaty. In addition, the Republicans are on the peak of frustration over Obama administration's historic legislative victory in health care.
Thus, whether the treaty could receive enough support in the U.S. Congress is also in doubt.
However, considering the two nations' huge nuclear arsenals and sharp differences on missile defense systems, it remains unclear whether the treaty could be effectively implemented.
A MASSIVE CUT
"After a year of intense negotiations, the United States and Russia have agreed to the most comprehensive arms control agreement in nearly two decades," Obama said in his speech to announce the treaty at the White House on the same day.
Negotiated to replace the START treaty that expired on Dec.5, the new agreement would update the mechanism for nuclear disarmament talks between the two sides.
According to the draft, the United States and Russia would reduce their deployed warheads to 1,550 respectively, while the cap on deployed ICBMs, SLBMs, and heavy bombers equipped for nuclear weapons is set at 700.
Information from the Russian media indicates that until 2009, the United States possessed 900 delivery vehicles and 3,500 nuclear warheads, though it only confirms a storage of 2,200, while Russia has 680 vehicles and 2,800 warheads.
ULTERIOR CONSIDERATIONS
"With this agreement, the two largest nuclear powers in the world also send a clear signal that we intend to lead," Obama said in his speech.
Steven Pifer, a disarmament expert with the Brookings Institution, said the new treaty, which will be signed April 8 in Prague, will better position the two countries in the upcoming Nuclear Security Summit in Washington D.C. on April 12-13 and the Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) Review Conference in New York in May.
"The advantage of this treaty is the American delegation is going to have a lot of credibility to ask other countries to find some ways to get past political differences, and come up with measures to strengthen the non-proliferation regime," Pifer said.
Nikolai Makarov, chief of the General Staff of Russia's armed forces, said in Moscow on Friday that the new treaty has dispelled the worries for each other and 100 percent matches the security interests of the Russian Federation.
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev said in a phone conversation with Obama that the treaty "reflects balance of interests of both states."
QUESTIONED PROSPECTS
Presently, the combined nuclear weaponry at the disposal of the U.S. and Russia amounts to 95 percent of the world's total storage. The number would continue to stand above 90 percent should one third of those nuclear arms be destroyed as the treaty demands.
Taking their massive nuclear weapons stockpiles into account, the international community deems it's quite distant a goal to build a world free from nuclear arms.
What's more worrisome is that the two parties have been intensively divergent on the missile defense system in Eastern Europe, which fogs the treaty's future implementation.
Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said Russia is entitled to suspend the reduction of its strategic nuclear weapons if the United States continue with its deployment of a missile defense system in Europe.
Congressional ratification is also a decisive element. For the treaty to be ratified, it has to win 67 votes in the 100-seat U.S. Senate.
Experts said the conservative senators have held from the beginning a consistent dissent over the treaty. In addition, the Republicans are on the peak of frustration over Obama administration's historic legislative victory in health care.
Thus, whether the treaty could receive enough support in the U.S. Congress is also in doubt.
Obamas Afghan visit to bolster war on militants
U.S. President Barack Obama meets with troops at Bagram Air Base in Kabul, March 28, 2010. Obama arrived unannounced in Afghanistan on Sunday, his first visit to the war zone that could define his presidency since his election as U.S. commander-in-chief. Air Force One landed in darkness at Bagram airfield north of the Afghan capital, and Obama was whisked by helicopter to Hamid Karzai's palace in Kabul, where he was greeted by the Afghan president and a band playing the U.S. national anthem. (Xinhua/Reuters Photo)
Over 1,700 service members with more than 1,000 of whom Americans of the NATO-led forces have been killed since the launching of the operation against the Taliban regime in late 2001.
Although the Taliban regime had been ousted of power, the Taliban-led militancy has been continuing since then and so far this year 136 soldiers of the NATO-led alliance with 83 of them Americans have been killed in the post-Taliban nation.
To effectively tackle the Taliban-linked militancy, Obama has ordered deploying the additional 30,000 troops in Afghanistan and the process of arriving in is continuing.
More than 120,000 NATO-led troops with over 68,000 of whom Americans are presently stationed in Afghanistan to root out Taliban and associated militants.
"This is a very important visit at this stage that President Obama paid a visit and repeated Washington's long-term commitment towards Afghanistan," an analyst and legislator Daud Sultanzoi said at a panel discussion.
The visit took place couple of weeks after Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad toured Afghanistan where he accused the U.S.- led troops of creating problems and called for their withdrawal.
After meeting Karzai, Obama strongly repeated Washington's firm support to Afghanistan by saying, "I want to send a strong message that the partnership between the United States and Afghanistan is going to continue."
Western media have often criticized Karzai's government over what they describe failing to check rampant corruption and to ensure good governance.
In the meeting with Karzai, according to officials, matters pertaining the security situation, counter-insurgency and fighting corruption came under discussion.
Over 1,700 service members with more than 1,000 of whom Americans of the NATO-led forces have been killed since the launching of the operation against the Taliban regime in late 2001.
Although the Taliban regime had been ousted of power, the Taliban-led militancy has been continuing since then and so far this year 136 soldiers of the NATO-led alliance with 83 of them Americans have been killed in the post-Taliban nation.
To effectively tackle the Taliban-linked militancy, Obama has ordered deploying the additional 30,000 troops in Afghanistan and the process of arriving in is continuing.
More than 120,000 NATO-led troops with over 68,000 of whom Americans are presently stationed in Afghanistan to root out Taliban and associated militants.
"This is a very important visit at this stage that President Obama paid a visit and repeated Washington's long-term commitment towards Afghanistan," an analyst and legislator Daud Sultanzoi said at a panel discussion.
The visit took place couple of weeks after Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad toured Afghanistan where he accused the U.S.- led troops of creating problems and called for their withdrawal.
After meeting Karzai, Obama strongly repeated Washington's firm support to Afghanistan by saying, "I want to send a strong message that the partnership between the United States and Afghanistan is going to continue."
Western media have often criticized Karzai's government over what they describe failing to check rampant corruption and to ensure good governance.
In the meeting with Karzai, according to officials, matters pertaining the security situation, counter-insurgency and fighting corruption came under discussion.
Sino-Swedish good relationship to continue another 60 years and even longer
Swedish Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt on Monday said that Sweden-China relations have development very well over the past 60 years, and one can expect such relations will continue another 60 years and even longer.
He made the remarks at a joint press conference with Chinese Vice President Xi Jinping after their talks in the morning. The two leaders briefed the journalists about what they talked about.
"I am very glad to welcome Vice President Xi Jinping to visit Sweden to mark the 60th anniversary of the bilateral relations. Sweden is actually the first western country to recognize the People's Republic of China in May, 1950, " said the Prime Minister.
Reinfeldt said that relations between Sweden and China in humanity and economic aspects developed very good on the basis of mutual respect and mutual interest .
There has been increasing interest in both sides, from Sweden to China and interest from China to Sweden. There are more and more tourists coming from China to visit Sweden and this year there are 5000 students from China studying in Sweden, he said.
Trade relations become closer and closer. There are hundreds of Swedish companies operating in China, and thousands of companies are doing business in China. Today, Geely's purchase of Volvo is one of the examples of trade relations. Sweden is a country which has strong competitiveness in the world.
He said Vice President Xi Jinping and Deputy Prime Minister Maud Olofsson will address the Sweden - China Business Cooperation and Innovation Forum right after the press conference, he said.
The two sides have signed a memorandum on Cooperation between Chinese and Swedish Small and Medium sized enterprises and a memorandum on Cooperation in Corporate Social Responsibilities.
"Our cooperation in Corporate Social Responsibilities has been carried out for many years. This aims to guarantee workers' rights. Now we like to establish a center for CSR cooperation in Swedish Embassy in Beijing," said Reinfeldt.
"We also talked about values, democracy and the importance of internet relating to freedom of speech," Reinfeldt added.
On the issue of climate change, Reinfeldt praised China for joining the international efforts in announcing domestic targets to the international community and join the Copenhagen Accord. So far, about 115 countries have made their promise and joined in the Copenhagen Accord.
"Wealso talked about the economic crisis, I mentioned that many European countries have seen serious budget deficit. The EU is facing difficulty. But I stressed that Sweden is an open country and has always been advocating free trade and against trade protectionism and the importance of concluding the Doha round this year," said Reinfeldt.
"Overall our relations have been very good over the past 60 years and I hope our good relations will continue last another 60 years and even longer," concluded Reinfeldt.
Vice President Xi said he is glad to visit the beautiful country Sweden.
"Just now I and the PM had a sincere and programmatic exchange of views in deepening China-Sweden cooperation in various fields and pushing forward bilateral relations, and we reached many important consensus, " said Xi.
"We both agreed that the two sides should strengthen communications, increase political mutual trust, expand economic cooperation and trade and deepen people to people and cultural exchanges, enhance coordination and collaboration in international affairs so as to push China-Sweden relations to a higher level in the next 60 years," Xi said to the journalists from both China and Sweden.
Xi said when Sweden held the rotating presidency of the EU in the latter half of last year, China and Sweden carried out good cooperation in pushing forward China-EU relations.
"During the talk today, PM and I shared the view that the international situation is undergoing profound and complex changes. Various global challenges are getting pronounced. China is the largest developing country in the world while the EU is the largest group of developed countries in the world. Thus, to deepen comprehensive strategic partnership between China and EU serve the fundamental interest of both sides. China and EU should work together to further enhance our political mutual trust and deepen practical cooperation so as to constantly take our relations to a new step in the new historical context," Xi said.
"On the issue of climate change which is a global issue, we both believe that climate change concerns the survival of mankind and the prosperity of all countries. Despite of the impact of financial crisis on our economy, international community should not waver in its commitment but to tighten actions to deal with climate change. We stand further to build consensus and make joint efforts for greater progress for international cooperation in climate issue," Xi said.
Finally, he invited Swedish media to visit China so that they can have a full picture about China.
"On this occasion, I would like to welcome our friends in the Swedish Press to come to China and look around the country so that you get a full picture of China. I hope you will continue to show interest in China-Sweden relations and make fresh and more contributions in promoting friendly cooperation between China and Sweden," Xi concluded.
Vice President Xi will address the Sweden China business cooperation and innovation forum in the blue hall of the City Council where the Nobel Prize dinner is held every year.
Xi came to Stockholm on Sunday afternoon after his visit in Gothenburg, the second largest city in Sweden. He has visited Russia, Belarus and Finland before arriving in Sweden. Sweden is the last leg of his European tour.
He made the remarks at a joint press conference with Chinese Vice President Xi Jinping after their talks in the morning. The two leaders briefed the journalists about what they talked about.
"I am very glad to welcome Vice President Xi Jinping to visit Sweden to mark the 60th anniversary of the bilateral relations. Sweden is actually the first western country to recognize the People's Republic of China in May, 1950, " said the Prime Minister.
Reinfeldt said that relations between Sweden and China in humanity and economic aspects developed very good on the basis of mutual respect and mutual interest .
There has been increasing interest in both sides, from Sweden to China and interest from China to Sweden. There are more and more tourists coming from China to visit Sweden and this year there are 5000 students from China studying in Sweden, he said.
Trade relations become closer and closer. There are hundreds of Swedish companies operating in China, and thousands of companies are doing business in China. Today, Geely's purchase of Volvo is one of the examples of trade relations. Sweden is a country which has strong competitiveness in the world.
He said Vice President Xi Jinping and Deputy Prime Minister Maud Olofsson will address the Sweden - China Business Cooperation and Innovation Forum right after the press conference, he said.
The two sides have signed a memorandum on Cooperation between Chinese and Swedish Small and Medium sized enterprises and a memorandum on Cooperation in Corporate Social Responsibilities.
"Our cooperation in Corporate Social Responsibilities has been carried out for many years. This aims to guarantee workers' rights. Now we like to establish a center for CSR cooperation in Swedish Embassy in Beijing," said Reinfeldt.
"We also talked about values, democracy and the importance of internet relating to freedom of speech," Reinfeldt added.
On the issue of climate change, Reinfeldt praised China for joining the international efforts in announcing domestic targets to the international community and join the Copenhagen Accord. So far, about 115 countries have made their promise and joined in the Copenhagen Accord.
"Wealso talked about the economic crisis, I mentioned that many European countries have seen serious budget deficit. The EU is facing difficulty. But I stressed that Sweden is an open country and has always been advocating free trade and against trade protectionism and the importance of concluding the Doha round this year," said Reinfeldt.
"Overall our relations have been very good over the past 60 years and I hope our good relations will continue last another 60 years and even longer," concluded Reinfeldt.
Vice President Xi said he is glad to visit the beautiful country Sweden.
"Just now I and the PM had a sincere and programmatic exchange of views in deepening China-Sweden cooperation in various fields and pushing forward bilateral relations, and we reached many important consensus, " said Xi.
"We both agreed that the two sides should strengthen communications, increase political mutual trust, expand economic cooperation and trade and deepen people to people and cultural exchanges, enhance coordination and collaboration in international affairs so as to push China-Sweden relations to a higher level in the next 60 years," Xi said to the journalists from both China and Sweden.
Xi said when Sweden held the rotating presidency of the EU in the latter half of last year, China and Sweden carried out good cooperation in pushing forward China-EU relations.
"During the talk today, PM and I shared the view that the international situation is undergoing profound and complex changes. Various global challenges are getting pronounced. China is the largest developing country in the world while the EU is the largest group of developed countries in the world. Thus, to deepen comprehensive strategic partnership between China and EU serve the fundamental interest of both sides. China and EU should work together to further enhance our political mutual trust and deepen practical cooperation so as to constantly take our relations to a new step in the new historical context," Xi said.
"On the issue of climate change which is a global issue, we both believe that climate change concerns the survival of mankind and the prosperity of all countries. Despite of the impact of financial crisis on our economy, international community should not waver in its commitment but to tighten actions to deal with climate change. We stand further to build consensus and make joint efforts for greater progress for international cooperation in climate issue," Xi said.
Finally, he invited Swedish media to visit China so that they can have a full picture about China.
"On this occasion, I would like to welcome our friends in the Swedish Press to come to China and look around the country so that you get a full picture of China. I hope you will continue to show interest in China-Sweden relations and make fresh and more contributions in promoting friendly cooperation between China and Sweden," Xi concluded.
Vice President Xi will address the Sweden China business cooperation and innovation forum in the blue hall of the City Council where the Nobel Prize dinner is held every year.
Xi came to Stockholm on Sunday afternoon after his visit in Gothenburg, the second largest city in Sweden. He has visited Russia, Belarus and Finland before arriving in Sweden. Sweden is the last leg of his European tour.
U.S. republicans spend $1,946 at strip club
The U.S. Republican National Committee (RNC) spent 1,946 U.S. dollars last month at a topless nightclub, according to media reports Tuesday.
The amount is listed in a monthly financial report as expenses for meals at Voyeur West Hollywood, a sex-themed Hollywood club that features topless dancers and bondage outfits.
The RNC is investigating the expenditure. Its spokesman said the committee doesn't know the details of how the money was spent but the expense did not belong to RNC Chairman Michael Steele.
The 1,946 dollars for meals at Voyeur West Hollywood was the most eye-catching item in the monthly report. The most recent financial disclosure report said the RNC also spent more than 17,000 dollars for private planes in February and nearly 13,000 dollars for car services.
On Monday, after news of the event became public, the RNC fired a staffer who was at the bar.
The amount is listed in a monthly financial report as expenses for meals at Voyeur West Hollywood, a sex-themed Hollywood club that features topless dancers and bondage outfits.
The RNC is investigating the expenditure. Its spokesman said the committee doesn't know the details of how the money was spent but the expense did not belong to RNC Chairman Michael Steele.
The 1,946 dollars for meals at Voyeur West Hollywood was the most eye-catching item in the monthly report. The most recent financial disclosure report said the RNC also spent more than 17,000 dollars for private planes in February and nearly 13,000 dollars for car services.
On Monday, after news of the event became public, the RNC fired a staffer who was at the bar.
Chile gradually steps out of earthquake shadow
A month after the 8.8-magnitude megaquake rocked Chile, the government and people have managed to gradually walk out of the earthquake shadow and are bringing life back to normal again.
QUAKE-HIT REGIONS START TO RECOVER
According to latest government figures, the quake damaged or destroyed 200,000 homes, 79 hospitals and more than 4,000 schools, with 371,000 people having been directly affected.
In Concepcion, capital of Bio Bio, one of the hardest-hit areas in the quake, reconstruction is a way of life: people are busily repairing or rebuilding their houses; excavators and trucks are digging into the mountains of rubble to clear the way; electricians and plumbers are repairing electricity and water systems in the city.
The Chilean government is rushing to build 40,000 makeshift houses, 30,000 tents and a dozen of emergency hospitals at the quake-torn areas to help the homeless to live and get medical treatment indoors before winter comes.
The government also plans to offer subsidies with a total amount of 2.543 billion U.S. dollars to 196,000 families for house reconstruction and repair.
Infrastructure reconstruction is also under way, including damaged roads, bridges, ports and airports.
President Sebastian Pinera estimated reconstruction would take around 30 billion dollars.
Curfew in some of the affected regions have been partly lifted. The curfew ended in parts of the states of Bio Bio, Arauco and Nuble due to improved security conditions, military General Guillermo Ramirez said.
The curfew in Concepcion will be reduced from six to four hours to keep the infrastructure repairs at night.
QUAKE-HIT REGIONS START TO RECOVER
According to latest government figures, the quake damaged or destroyed 200,000 homes, 79 hospitals and more than 4,000 schools, with 371,000 people having been directly affected.
In Concepcion, capital of Bio Bio, one of the hardest-hit areas in the quake, reconstruction is a way of life: people are busily repairing or rebuilding their houses; excavators and trucks are digging into the mountains of rubble to clear the way; electricians and plumbers are repairing electricity and water systems in the city.
The Chilean government is rushing to build 40,000 makeshift houses, 30,000 tents and a dozen of emergency hospitals at the quake-torn areas to help the homeless to live and get medical treatment indoors before winter comes.
The government also plans to offer subsidies with a total amount of 2.543 billion U.S. dollars to 196,000 families for house reconstruction and repair.
Infrastructure reconstruction is also under way, including damaged roads, bridges, ports and airports.
President Sebastian Pinera estimated reconstruction would take around 30 billion dollars.
Curfew in some of the affected regions have been partly lifted. The curfew ended in parts of the states of Bio Bio, Arauco and Nuble due to improved security conditions, military General Guillermo Ramirez said.
The curfew in Concepcion will be reduced from six to four hours to keep the infrastructure repairs at night.
3.29.2010
Pineapple Cosmetology
The pineapple belongs to the tropical fruit, its rich vitamin not can only downplay the face color spot, causes the skin favor, transparent, but can also remove the cutin effectively, promotes the flesh metabolism, the skin to present the healthy condition. The skin color sinks darkly the person available gauze soaks pineapple juice cleaning, insisted for a long time can play the US white and tender skin's role. In takes a bath in the water to join the little pineapple juice to be able to moisten the flesh, especially is suitable for the skin rough person. Moreover, in the pineapple also includes one kind to be called the pineapple the enzyme the material, it can remove the tooth surface effectively the dirt, makes your tooth pure white like jade.
Cherry cosmetology
The cherry is the ferri and renieratene many one kind of fruits, its nutrition is rich, can play the role which to the vitality empty person the blood tonic invigorates the kidney, before meals the edible 200-300 grams may recuperate the stomach function, to the human who digests the merit energy balance has the advantage very much. In the cherry rich vitamin C can moisten the tender white skin, resists the melanin effectively the formation. Moreover, in the cherry contains the tartaric acid can also promote the cuticle formation.
The aloe cosmetology
In Japan, the application which the aloe improves looks is nearly widely known. In the European and American cosmetics market, some 80% product include the natural aloe extraction. The woman useful aloe improves looks traditional folk custom. the aloe is truly one kind has many health care and the cosmetology function plant, it has to the human body Cell tissue's regeneration, the protective function, the anti-ulcer, strengthens the visceral function, the adjustment life organism normalization. In the aloe includes the racemic acid, Gan Tanglu, few calcium and protein, vitamin and mineral substance. Has the nutrition moisturizer, against to expose to the sun, cleanly, cosmetology effects and so on contraction pore, desalination color spot. The simple aloe bath can also eliminate is anxious and is weary.
3.24.2010
Excited Remarks
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I’m going to have one of those someday, his dad’s response always was Not as long as I’m alive.
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I’m getting one of those as soon as my dad
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I’m getting one of those as soon as my dad
Wait for your salary
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.
If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...
wait for your salary.
If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...
wait for your salary.
A Smugglar
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he aske
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender.
Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he aske
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender.
Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
A Fine Match
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
Guests for dinner
The following is a true story.
There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn‘t stop sucking his thumb, he‘d get fat.
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you‘ve been doing!"
There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn‘t stop sucking his thumb, he‘d get fat.
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you‘ve been doing!"
The Great Lion Hunter
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.
Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.
Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?
Contented Married Life
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
3.20.2010
No Cussing In Church
A man went to church one day and afterward he
stopped to shake the preacher´s hand. He said,
"Preacher, I´ll tell you WHAT, that was a damned
fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I´d
rather you didn´t use
that kind of language in the Lord´s House.
stopped to shake the preacher´s hand. He said,
"Preacher, I´ll tell you WHAT, that was a damned
fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I´d
rather you didn´t use
that kind of language in the Lord´s House.
I AM
A black preacher and a white preacher went on a hillside to find out if God was black or white. The white preacher askes, "God, are you black or white"? God responds, "I Am that I Am". The white preacher says "He´s white". The black preacher says, "Why do you say that"?! The white preacher says, "If He were black, He would have said, ´I Is that I Is´".
AOL addiction poem
My computer broke down.
It crashed and burned!
And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...
And keep it off my mind.
It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc.The cashier in electronics was staring at me.
But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find.
I drew a crowd as I began to cry.
I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!!
Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.
The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!
Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.
Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door!
Then he looked at me and said, Don't come round here no more!
i feel so embarrassed!! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart.... How low can I go?
So I'll try really hard now to rid myself of this affliction.
Get rid of these bad habits and my AOL addiction!
It crashed and burned!
And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...
And keep it off my mind.
It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc.The cashier in electronics was staring at me.
But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find.
I drew a crowd as I began to cry.
I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!!
Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.
The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!
Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.
Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door!
Then he looked at me and said, Don't come round here no more!
i feel so embarrassed!! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart.... How low can I go?
So I'll try really hard now to rid myself of this affliction.
Get rid of these bad habits and my AOL addiction!
Microsoft versus GM
Microsoft vs. GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal.
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement, Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?
And...
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought Car95 or CarNT. But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single general car default warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say, Are you sure? before going off.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal.
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement, Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?
And...
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought Car95 or CarNT. But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single general car default warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say, Are you sure? before going off.
New Ears
A woman goes to a doctor, and says, Doctor I want an operation to reduce my vagina lips. Oh, I don't think so, says the doctor. Please, the woman begs. Oh all right, sighs the doctor. But no one can find out, not even my family the woman insists. The doctor agrees. After the operation, the woman finds two roses at her bedside. Oh, she screams, no one was supposed to find out about my operation! Oh, it's okay ma'am, says the doctor. One rose is from me, and the other is from a man in the intensive burn unit, who thanks you very much for his new ears!
Bulimic Bachelor Party
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
Wrong arm of the law
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb. Well put, the judge replied. Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses. The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Senior Thesis
A group of senior citizens were exchanging complaints about their ailments. My arm is so weak that I can hardly hold this coffee cup. Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad that I can't see to pour my coffee. I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck. My blood pressure pills make my dizzy. I guess that's the price we pay for getting old. Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive.
All objects in the world
All objects in the world can be placed into one of two categories: - things that need to be fixed, - things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them
Whats the difference
What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
During the heat
During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, NASA decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of $1 million. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
An engineer, a mathmatician and an arts graduate
An engineer, a mathmatician and an arts graduate were given the task of finding the height of a church steeple (the first to get the correct solution wins a $1000). The engineer tried to remember things about differential pressures, but resorted to climbing the steeple and lowering a string on a plumb bob until it touched the ground and then climbed down and measured the length of the string. The Mathematician layed out a reference line, measured the angle to the top of the steeple from both ends and worked out the height by trigonometry. However, the arts graduate won the prize. He bought the vicar a beer in the local pub and he told him how high the church steeple was.
Top Ten Things
Top Ten Things Engineering School didn't Teach You 1. There are at least 10 types of capacitors. 2. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work. 3. Not everything works according to the specs in the databook. 4. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you will never use. 5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of your life. 6. Overtime pay? What overtime pay? 7. Managers, not engineers, rule the world. 8. Always try to fix the hardware with software. 9. If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software. 10. Dilbert is not a comic strip, it's a documentary.
Engineering Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says: Ah, you're an engineer, but you worked for a high-tech startup company and got rich. You've had too good of a life, so now you can't come in here. So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer is dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are all upgraded and there are speaker wires running to every room. Even the clocks on the VCRs are set. The engineer becomes a pretty popular guy. One day God calls up Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, So, how's it going down there in hell? Satan replies, Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are faster than ever and we've got music in every room. There's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. God replies, What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake, he should never have gotten down there! Send him back up here, now. Satan shouts back, No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him. God says, Send him back up here or I'll sue. Satan laughs uproariously and answers, Yeah, right... and just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?
Ordering fast food
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our boss thought that, since we work with computers, it would be more appropriate to order by Internet. After we contacted a fast food chain's web site and spent a long time registering as new customers for the delivery service, a message appeared on the screeen: Thank you for your business. You will be able to order food in three days.
One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our boss thought that, since we work with computers, it would be more appropriate to order by Internet. After we contacted a fast food chain's web site and spent a long time registering as new customers for the delivery service, a message appeared on the screeen: Thank you for your business. You will be able to order food in three days.
Tribute to the Marines
A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world . . .
* United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 *
1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can't have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less on shampoo.
2) Dress blues. They're the coolest uniforms in any military worldwide.
3) Bloused trousers. Another distinctive Marine look that sets the proudest service members apart.
4) The rest of the Marine sea bag. From the Alphas to the camouflage utilities, uniforms just look better on a Marine than any other service member.
5) Marines don't wear dungarees.
6) Most respect I. When the Marines pulled out of Haiti and Somalia, the media reported the U.S. military was pulling out -- as if tens of thousands of Army troops weren't still in the country. Now that's respect.
7) Most respect II. When the Corps came back to Haiti after 60 years, an old man on the Cap-Haitien beach said ``Welcome back!''
8) Toughest mascot. The Marine Corps' is a bulldog. The Navy's: a goat.
9) Esprit de Corps. Even if you can't spell it or pronounce it, the Marine Corps has it in spades. One example: When sailors get tattoos, they do it to express their individuality, and their choices range from Betty Boop and Mickey Mouse to raging sea serpents. When Marines get tattoos, they do it to express their solidarity, and choose bull dogs, ``death before dishonor,'' and ``USMC.''
10) Best war monument: Iwo Jima
11) The Marines invade, then go home. The Army has to do the occupying.
12) The silent drill team. Just watching them ply their trade makes you want to wear dress blues.
13) Status. Sailors live and work on ships. Marines go for cruises -- then hit the shore.
14) Best fast attack vehicles: LAVs.
15) Best fighting knife: Ka-Bar.
16) Best duty assignments: Okinawa, Kaneohe Bay, Camp Pendleton, Diego Garcia, Moscow, North Carolina. Plus any ship at sea.
17) Worst duty assignments: Okinawa, Kaneohe Bay, Camp Pendleton, Diego Garcia, Moscow, North Carolina. Plus any ship at sea.
18) Most exotic duty assignments: Kuala Lumpur, The White House.
19) Best phone number. Call 1-800-MARINES and you've got the Corps. And if you're a civilian with the character to be a Marine, a recruiter there will be happy to sign you up.
20) Toughest DI's. (Drill Instructors). They're so tough that when the Navy wants to train its officers, who do they call? 1-800-MARINES.
21) Toughest boot camp. When San Diego was still training Navy recruits, legend has it that recruits occasionally would jump the fence and accidentally land in Marine boot camp. The Marines would keep them a couple of days, and when the recruits were sent back, they were ready to be sailors!
22) Best motivational cries: Ooh-rah! - Attack! - Kill!
23) Best emblem: Eagle, Globe and Anchor. (Air, Land and Sea)
24) Best campaign covers: The Smokey Bear hat.
25) Separate heads for enlisted and officers. Everywhere else, officers and enlisted use the same pot.
26) The only official, congressionally sanctioned hymn for any of the services: ``The Marines' Hymn.''
* United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 *
1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can't have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less on shampoo.
2) Dress blues. They're the coolest uniforms in any military worldwide.
3) Bloused trousers. Another distinctive Marine look that sets the proudest service members apart.
4) The rest of the Marine sea bag. From the Alphas to the camouflage utilities, uniforms just look better on a Marine than any other service member.
5) Marines don't wear dungarees.
6) Most respect I. When the Marines pulled out of Haiti and Somalia, the media reported the U.S. military was pulling out -- as if tens of thousands of Army troops weren't still in the country. Now that's respect.
7) Most respect II. When the Corps came back to Haiti after 60 years, an old man on the Cap-Haitien beach said ``Welcome back!''
8) Toughest mascot. The Marine Corps' is a bulldog. The Navy's: a goat.
9) Esprit de Corps. Even if you can't spell it or pronounce it, the Marine Corps has it in spades. One example: When sailors get tattoos, they do it to express their individuality, and their choices range from Betty Boop and Mickey Mouse to raging sea serpents. When Marines get tattoos, they do it to express their solidarity, and choose bull dogs, ``death before dishonor,'' and ``USMC.''
10) Best war monument: Iwo Jima
11) The Marines invade, then go home. The Army has to do the occupying.
12) The silent drill team. Just watching them ply their trade makes you want to wear dress blues.
13) Status. Sailors live and work on ships. Marines go for cruises -- then hit the shore.
14) Best fast attack vehicles: LAVs.
15) Best fighting knife: Ka-Bar.
16) Best duty assignments: Okinawa, Kaneohe Bay, Camp Pendleton, Diego Garcia, Moscow, North Carolina. Plus any ship at sea.
17) Worst duty assignments: Okinawa, Kaneohe Bay, Camp Pendleton, Diego Garcia, Moscow, North Carolina. Plus any ship at sea.
18) Most exotic duty assignments: Kuala Lumpur, The White House.
19) Best phone number. Call 1-800-MARINES and you've got the Corps. And if you're a civilian with the character to be a Marine, a recruiter there will be happy to sign you up.
20) Toughest DI's. (Drill Instructors). They're so tough that when the Navy wants to train its officers, who do they call? 1-800-MARINES.
21) Toughest boot camp. When San Diego was still training Navy recruits, legend has it that recruits occasionally would jump the fence and accidentally land in Marine boot camp. The Marines would keep them a couple of days, and when the recruits were sent back, they were ready to be sailors!
22) Best motivational cries: Ooh-rah! - Attack! - Kill!
23) Best emblem: Eagle, Globe and Anchor. (Air, Land and Sea)
24) Best campaign covers: The Smokey Bear hat.
25) Separate heads for enlisted and officers. Everywhere else, officers and enlisted use the same pot.
26) The only official, congressionally sanctioned hymn for any of the services: ``The Marines' Hymn.''
3.17.2010
The fish has been too intelligent, do not bring eats
Dr. Sylvia Earle wants you to stop eating fish. It's not because fish are endangered1, though wild fish stocks2 in many oceans are very low. It's not because they're bad for you, though fish in many areas are exposed to poisonous substances3 in the water. It’s because they're smart. "Fish are sensitive4, they have personalities5," says the marine biologist. For Earle, eating a fish would be like eating a dog or a cat. "I would never eat anyone I know personally6."
There's a lot more to fish than meets the eye: they talk to each other, they like to be touched, and they engage in7 behavior8 that can seem very human. They can remember things and learn from experience. Earle and a growing number of animal rights activists9 see these as strong arguments against eating fish altogether.
The activists also point out that fish feel pain and fish suffer horribly on their way from the sea to the supermarket. "While it may seem obvious10 that fish are able to feel pain, like every other animal, some people think of fish as swimming vegetables," says Dr. Lynne Sneddon. "Really, it's kind of a moral question. Is the enjoyment you get from fishing (or eating fish) more important than the pain of the fish?"
Fishermen and (fried) fish lovers are skeptical11. "I've never seen a smart fish," says Marie Swaringen as she finishes off a plate of fish at a Seattle seafood restaurant. "If they were very smart, they wouldn't get caught."
"For years, everyone's been telling us to eat fish because it's so good for us," says another diner. "Now I've got to feel guilty12 while I'm eating my fish? What are they going to think of next? Don't eat salad because cucumbers have feelings?"
There's a lot more to fish than meets the eye: they talk to each other, they like to be touched, and they engage in7 behavior8 that can seem very human. They can remember things and learn from experience. Earle and a growing number of animal rights activists9 see these as strong arguments against eating fish altogether.
The activists also point out that fish feel pain and fish suffer horribly on their way from the sea to the supermarket. "While it may seem obvious10 that fish are able to feel pain, like every other animal, some people think of fish as swimming vegetables," says Dr. Lynne Sneddon. "Really, it's kind of a moral question. Is the enjoyment you get from fishing (or eating fish) more important than the pain of the fish?"
Fishermen and (fried) fish lovers are skeptical11. "I've never seen a smart fish," says Marie Swaringen as she finishes off a plate of fish at a Seattle seafood restaurant. "If they were very smart, they wouldn't get caught."
"For years, everyone's been telling us to eat fish because it's so good for us," says another diner. "Now I've got to feel guilty12 while I'm eating my fish? What are they going to think of next? Don't eat salad because cucumbers have feelings?"
Reveals the Jupiter surface big red spot
"This is our first detailed look inside the biggest storm of the Solar System," says Glenn Orton, who led the team of astronomers that made the study. "We once thought the Great Red Spot was a plain old oval without much structure, but these new results show that it is, in fact, extremely complicated." The observations reveal that the reddest colour of the Great Red Spot corresponds to a warm core within the otherwise cold storm system, and images show dark lanes at the edge of the storm where gases are descending into the deeper regions of the planet. The observations, detailed in a paper appearing in the journal Icarus, give scientists a sense of the circulation patterns within the solar system's best-known storm system.
Sky gazers have been observing the Great Red Spot in one form or another for hundreds of years, with continuous observations of its current shape dating back to the 19th century. The spot, which is a cold region averaging about -160 degrees Celsius, is so wide that about three Earths could fit inside its boundaries.
The thermal images were mostly obtained with the VISIR instrument attached to ESO's Very Large Telescope in Chile, with additional data coming from the Gemini South telescope in Chile and the National Astronomical Observatory of Japan's Subaru Telescope in Hawaii. The images have provided an unprecedented level of resolution and extended the coverage provided by NASA's Galileo spacecraft in the late 1990s. Together with observations of the deep cloud structure by the 3-metre NASA Infrared Telescope Facility in Hawaii, the level of thermal detail observed from these giant observatories is for the first time comparable to visible-light images from the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope.
VISIR allows the astronomers to map the temperature, aerosols and ammonia within and surrounding the storm. Each of these parameters tells us how the weather and circulation patterns change within the storm, both spatially (in 3D) and with time. The years of VISIR observations, coupled with those from the other observatories, reveals how the storm is incredibly stable despite turbulence , upheavals and close encounters with other anticyclones that affect the edge of the storm system.
"One of the most intriguing findings shows the most intense orange-red central part of the spot is about 3 to 4 degrees warmer than the environment around it," says lead author Leigh Fletcher. This temperature difference might not seem like a lot, but it is enough to allow the storm circulation, usually counter-clockwise , to shift to a weak clockwise circulation in the very middle of the storm. Not only that, but on other parts of Jupiter, the temperature change is enough to alter wind velocities and affect cloud patterns in the belts and zones.
"This is the first time we can say that there's an intimate link between environmental conditions — temperature, winds, pressure and composition — and the actual colour of the Great Red Spot," says Fletcher. "Although we can speculate , we still don't know for sure which chemicals or processes are causing that deep red colour, but we do know now that it is related to changes in the environmental conditions right in the heart of the storm."
Sky gazers have been observing the Great Red Spot in one form or another for hundreds of years, with continuous observations of its current shape dating back to the 19th century. The spot, which is a cold region averaging about -160 degrees Celsius, is so wide that about three Earths could fit inside its boundaries.
The thermal images were mostly obtained with the VISIR instrument attached to ESO's Very Large Telescope in Chile, with additional data coming from the Gemini South telescope in Chile and the National Astronomical Observatory of Japan's Subaru Telescope in Hawaii. The images have provided an unprecedented level of resolution and extended the coverage provided by NASA's Galileo spacecraft in the late 1990s. Together with observations of the deep cloud structure by the 3-metre NASA Infrared Telescope Facility in Hawaii, the level of thermal detail observed from these giant observatories is for the first time comparable to visible-light images from the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope.
VISIR allows the astronomers to map the temperature, aerosols and ammonia within and surrounding the storm. Each of these parameters tells us how the weather and circulation patterns change within the storm, both spatially (in 3D) and with time. The years of VISIR observations, coupled with those from the other observatories, reveals how the storm is incredibly stable despite turbulence , upheavals and close encounters with other anticyclones that affect the edge of the storm system.
"One of the most intriguing findings shows the most intense orange-red central part of the spot is about 3 to 4 degrees warmer than the environment around it," says lead author Leigh Fletcher. This temperature difference might not seem like a lot, but it is enough to allow the storm circulation, usually counter-clockwise , to shift to a weak clockwise circulation in the very middle of the storm. Not only that, but on other parts of Jupiter, the temperature change is enough to alter wind velocities and affect cloud patterns in the belts and zones.
"This is the first time we can say that there's an intimate link between environmental conditions — temperature, winds, pressure and composition — and the actual colour of the Great Red Spot," says Fletcher. "Although we can speculate , we still don't know for sure which chemicals or processes are causing that deep red colour, but we do know now that it is related to changes in the environmental conditions right in the heart of the storm."
Is helpful to the Skp2 gene's research to the tumor treatment
Increased understanding of the Skp2 gene and its relation to cellular senescence may lead to the development of novel agents that can suppress tumor development in common types of cancer, researchers from The University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center and Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center report in the journal Nature. Skp2 is involved in promoting cell cycle regulation, cell proliferation , cell growth and the formation of tumors, and it is overexpressed in a variety of human cancers, according to lead author Hui-Kuan Lin, Ph.D., an assistant professor in M. D. Anderson's Department of Molecular and Cellular Oncology.
Lin and colleagues found that inactivating Skp2 after oncogenes are overexpressed stifles cancer growth by causing senescence - the irreversible loss of a cell's ability to divide and grow. Harnessing the power of cellular senescence to push rapidly dividing cells into a dormant state might provide another way to prevent or control common malignancies like prostate cancer.
Experiments Yield Surprising Results
The researchers conducted a series of experiments in tumor cell lines and mouse models that have shed new light on the interplay of Skp2 and cellular senescence.
"We discovered that Skp2 actually exhibits oncogenic activity, which is required for cancer development in multiple tumor models, such as the Pten-deficient and the p19Arf -deficient mouse models," Lin said. "We found that Skp2 regulates tumorigenesis to trigger the cellular senescence program. This program is unexpectedly independent of the p19Arf-p53 pathway, which was previously believed to be critical for cellular senescence."
The researchers also found that induction of cellular senescence did not cause DNA damage, and their results suggest that Skp2 inactivation can suppress cellular transformation to cancer even in the setting of an impaired p19Arf-p53 senescence response.
Moreover, research conducted in mouse models with faulty or inactive tumor suppressor networks showed that Skp2 deficiency and oncogenic signaling elicit a senescence response that restricts formation of tumors.
Novel Findings Point to New Therapeutic Approaches
Lin said these studies suggest that in the future Skp2 might be an effective therapeutic target for tumors with deregulated Akt signaling due to the loss or inactivation of Pten functions. Pten, which is commonly lost in human cancers, acts as a tumor suppressor gene by suppressing Akt signaling. Skp2 and Pten loss are believed to cooperate in triggering cellular senescence to restrict invasive prostate cancer.
"We now want to examine whether Skp2 is required in other tumor model systems, such as a HER2 model, to determine whether it is globally required for an oncogenic event," said Lin, who previously was affiliated with Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Department of Pathology and Cancer Biology and Genetics program and continued his research at M. D. Anderson. "We are testing whether Skp2 might be widely used for different types of cancer or perhaps used to trigger this newly described cellular senescence program."
The researchers also are working to develop a Skp2-specific small molecule inhibitor to establish that the protein is indeed an important therapeutic target in cancer treatment. They believe that Skp2-based therapy might also be used as a general cancer treatment that could be combined with existing cancer therapies.
Lin and colleagues found that inactivating Skp2 after oncogenes are overexpressed stifles cancer growth by causing senescence - the irreversible loss of a cell's ability to divide and grow. Harnessing the power of cellular senescence to push rapidly dividing cells into a dormant state might provide another way to prevent or control common malignancies like prostate cancer.
Experiments Yield Surprising Results
The researchers conducted a series of experiments in tumor cell lines and mouse models that have shed new light on the interplay of Skp2 and cellular senescence.
"We discovered that Skp2 actually exhibits oncogenic activity, which is required for cancer development in multiple tumor models, such as the Pten-deficient and the p19Arf -deficient mouse models," Lin said. "We found that Skp2 regulates tumorigenesis to trigger the cellular senescence program. This program is unexpectedly independent of the p19Arf-p53 pathway, which was previously believed to be critical for cellular senescence."
The researchers also found that induction of cellular senescence did not cause DNA damage, and their results suggest that Skp2 inactivation can suppress cellular transformation to cancer even in the setting of an impaired p19Arf-p53 senescence response.
Moreover, research conducted in mouse models with faulty or inactive tumor suppressor networks showed that Skp2 deficiency and oncogenic signaling elicit a senescence response that restricts formation of tumors.
Novel Findings Point to New Therapeutic Approaches
Lin said these studies suggest that in the future Skp2 might be an effective therapeutic target for tumors with deregulated Akt signaling due to the loss or inactivation of Pten functions. Pten, which is commonly lost in human cancers, acts as a tumor suppressor gene by suppressing Akt signaling. Skp2 and Pten loss are believed to cooperate in triggering cellular senescence to restrict invasive prostate cancer.
"We now want to examine whether Skp2 is required in other tumor model systems, such as a HER2 model, to determine whether it is globally required for an oncogenic event," said Lin, who previously was affiliated with Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Department of Pathology and Cancer Biology and Genetics program and continued his research at M. D. Anderson. "We are testing whether Skp2 might be widely used for different types of cancer or perhaps used to trigger this newly described cellular senescence program."
The researchers also are working to develop a Skp2-specific small molecule inhibitor to establish that the protein is indeed an important therapeutic target in cancer treatment. They believe that Skp2-based therapy might also be used as a general cancer treatment that could be combined with existing cancer therapies.
HOW TO GET RID OF A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS
When they ask, "Can I talk to you about God?" Reply, "Sure, what would you like to know?"
Answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "I'm sorry, could you come back in a half hour? We're not done with the virgin yet."
Answer the door with an automatic weapon and say 'Allah be Praised!
Ask them for their address. When they ask why you want it, claim that you want to appear on their doorstop univited so that you can peddle your own beliefs.
Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.
Tell them you already have your own religion. When they ask what it is, wince a little before confessing, "er, I'm not sure if it's legal in this country
A chalk outline of a human body on the pavement, and a few copies of "The Watchtower" scattered around...
Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to leave.
Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty-two children.
Invite them in to see your fine collection of dinosaur fossils.
Answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "I'm sorry, could you come back in a half hour? We're not done with the virgin yet."
Answer the door with an automatic weapon and say 'Allah be Praised!
Ask them for their address. When they ask why you want it, claim that you want to appear on their doorstop univited so that you can peddle your own beliefs.
Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.
Tell them you already have your own religion. When they ask what it is, wince a little before confessing, "er, I'm not sure if it's legal in this country
A chalk outline of a human body on the pavement, and a few copies of "The Watchtower" scattered around...
Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to leave.
Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty-two children.
Invite them in to see your fine collection of dinosaur fossils.
WALKING IN THE MOUNTAINS
A man was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall. In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.
Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death.
Full of fear, he cries out, "Help me!" But there was no answer. Again and again he cried out but to no avail. Finally he yelled, "Is anybody up there? "
A deep voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."
"Who is it?"
"It's the Lord"
"Can you help me?"
"Yes, I can help."
"Help me!"
"Let go."
Looking around the man became full of panic. "What?!?!"
"Let go. I will catch you."
"Uh... Is there anybody else up there?"
Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death.
Full of fear, he cries out, "Help me!" But there was no answer. Again and again he cried out but to no avail. Finally he yelled, "Is anybody up there? "
A deep voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."
"Who is it?"
"It's the Lord"
"Can you help me?"
"Yes, I can help."
"Help me!"
"Let go."
Looking around the man became full of panic. "What?!?!"
"Let go. I will catch you."
"Uh... Is there anybody else up there?"
3.16.2010
sports home
A German, Englishman and American are traveling on a train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families.
The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they'll make a basketball team.
The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys, one more and I'll be the world-champion soccer-team's coach.
The American starts laughing. He says I've had 17 wives and no kids!! But one more wife and I'll open a golf course!
The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they'll make a basketball team.
The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys, one more and I'll be the world-champion soccer-team's coach.
The American starts laughing. He says I've had 17 wives and no kids!! But one more wife and I'll open a golf course!
Purpose of the Dog
A Sunday School helper was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
How Many Dogs Does It Take
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle .
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle .
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?
Doggie Funeral
This rich man died and left in his will that when his dog died he was to have a funeral and who ever did the funeral would get a million dollars.
When the dog died--the executor started asking various faiths of the cloth if they would do the funeral. All refused. Finally he asked this old country preacher if he would do the funeral. "Why Brother--I don't do dogs funerals!"
"OK" the executor replied, "But the one who does this funeral gets a fat one million dollars!". The preacher replied "Now wait a Minute --- you didn't tell me this dog was a Christian!"
When the dog died--the executor started asking various faiths of the cloth if they would do the funeral. All refused. Finally he asked this old country preacher if he would do the funeral. "Why Brother--I don't do dogs funerals!"
"OK" the executor replied, "But the one who does this funeral gets a fat one million dollars!". The preacher replied "Now wait a Minute --- you didn't tell me this dog was a Christian!"
Special Pig
Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"
"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"
"And the boar tore up his leg?" "No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"
"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?" "No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."
"And that was when he hurt his leg?" "Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."
"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"
"Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."
"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"
"And the boar tore up his leg?" "No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"
"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?" "No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."
"And that was when he hurt his leg?" "Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."
"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"
"Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."
Cross-eyed Rottweiler
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to the vet: "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for it?"
"Well" said the vet "lets have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and has a good look at it's eyes.
"Well" says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down"
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.
"No, because he's heavy" says the vet.
"Well" said the vet "lets have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and has a good look at it's eyes.
"Well" says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down"
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.
"No, because he's heavy" says the vet.
Seeing Eye Chihuahua
There's a guy with a Doberman Pincer and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pincer says to the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The guy with the Doberman Pincer says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pincer puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.
A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Doberman Pincer says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pincer?" He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good."
The guy at the door says, "Come on in."
The guy with the Chihuahua figures, "hey why not?," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
The guy at the door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua!?"
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The guy with the Doberman Pincer says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pincer puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.
A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Doberman Pincer says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pincer?" He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good."
The guy at the door says, "Come on in."
The guy with the Chihuahua figures, "hey why not?," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
The guy at the door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua!?"
The Amazing Pet
A man went into a pet shop and told the owner that he wanted to buy a pet. But, he didn't want your ordinary, garden variety pet! No, he wanted a pet that could do everything!
The shop owner suggested a faithful dog.
The man replied, "Come on, a dog?"
The owner said, "How about a cat?"
The man replied, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"
The shop owner thought for a minute, then said, "I've got it! A centipede!"
The man said, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede." So he got the centipede home and said to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."
Thirty minutes later, he walked into the kitchen and... it was immaculate! All the dishes and silverware were washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He was absolutely amazed.
He then said to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later, he walked into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; and the plants watered.
The man thought to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"
Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper."
The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede.
By this point the man was wondering what was going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes.
45 minutes later... still no centipede! He couldn't imagine what had happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where was that centipede?
So he went to the front door, opened it ... and there was the centipede sitting right outside.
The man said, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What happened?!"
The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"
The shop owner suggested a faithful dog.
The man replied, "Come on, a dog?"
The owner said, "How about a cat?"
The man replied, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"
The shop owner thought for a minute, then said, "I've got it! A centipede!"
The man said, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede." So he got the centipede home and said to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."
Thirty minutes later, he walked into the kitchen and... it was immaculate! All the dishes and silverware were washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He was absolutely amazed.
He then said to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later, he walked into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; and the plants watered.
The man thought to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"
Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper."
The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede.
By this point the man was wondering what was going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes.
45 minutes later... still no centipede! He couldn't imagine what had happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where was that centipede?
So he went to the front door, opened it ... and there was the centipede sitting right outside.
The man said, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What happened?!"
The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"
Cooking Instructions
According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.
The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: "Wash. Biol. Surv."
Until the agency received the this letter from an Arkansas camper:
"Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible."
The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.
The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: "Wash. Biol. Surv."
Until the agency received the this letter from an Arkansas camper:
"Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible."
The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.
Goodbye Ugly Suit
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"
"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!" the manager asked.
"That's the one!"
"That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suitwe've ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me."
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"
"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!" the manager asked.
"That's the one!"
"That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suitwe've ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me."
Life as a Female Bear
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you're a female bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
I wanna be a bear.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you're a female bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
I wanna be a bear.
Cat Collector
famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.
He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
To which the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
To which the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
Excellent Skills
After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.
In an instant, a skycap was at his side. Sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.
In an instant, a skycap was at his side. Sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.
A preacher is buying a parrot
Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.
Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.
Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.
Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?
I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.
Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.
Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.
Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?
I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.
Leaving Early
A BRUNETTE, A REDHEAD & A BLONDE all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed their boss left work early.
One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know?
The next day, they all three left the office right after the boss left. The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date.
The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to the bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS.
Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead decided they were leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them.
"NO WAY," she exclaimed, "I almost got caught yesterday"
One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know?
The next day, they all three left the office right after the boss left. The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date.
The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to the bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS.
Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead decided they were leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them.
"NO WAY," she exclaimed, "I almost got caught yesterday"
Wheres The Manager
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. "Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"Im afraid I cant" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"Tell him that there is no loo paper in the ladies."
"Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"Im afraid I cant" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"Tell him that there is no loo paper in the ladies."
Blonde Friend
A blonde goes on "Who wants to be a Millionaire."
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
The Rope
There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette.
They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."
After a really touching speech from the brunette about how she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.
Problem solved.
They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."
After a really touching speech from the brunette about how she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.
Problem solved.
3.15.2010
Afghan Forces Kill five Suicide Bomber-Suspects in Eastern Afghanistan
Afghan authorities say security forces have killed five militants suspected of planning to carry out suicide bombings in the country's east.
Officials say Afghan forces attacked the five would-be suicide bombers Monday before the militants could reach their targets in the Barmal district of Paktika province.
Taliban militants have stepped up their use of coordinated suicide attacks in their campaign against the Afghan government and NATO forces protecting it. The Taliban claimed responsibility for multiple suicide bombings Saturday that killed 35 people in the southern city of Kandahar.
The militant group said the attacks were a response to NATO's plan to launch a major anti-Taliban offensive in Kandahar province later this year.
Afghan President Hamid Karzai discussed the fight against terrorism Sunday in a telephone conversation with Pakistani Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani.
The two leaders condemned the attacks in Kandahar and a similar wave of suicide bombings in Pakistan's Swat district and city of Lahore in recent days.
Officials say Afghan forces attacked the five would-be suicide bombers Monday before the militants could reach their targets in the Barmal district of Paktika province.
Taliban militants have stepped up their use of coordinated suicide attacks in their campaign against the Afghan government and NATO forces protecting it. The Taliban claimed responsibility for multiple suicide bombings Saturday that killed 35 people in the southern city of Kandahar.
The militant group said the attacks were a response to NATO's plan to launch a major anti-Taliban offensive in Kandahar province later this year.
Afghan President Hamid Karzai discussed the fight against terrorism Sunday in a telephone conversation with Pakistani Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani.
The two leaders condemned the attacks in Kandahar and a similar wave of suicide bombings in Pakistan's Swat district and city of Lahore in recent days.
Israel Arrests Senior Hamas Commander
The Israeli military says it has arrested a senior commander of the Palestinian faction Hamas after he spent more than a decade on the run.
Israeli troops and the Shin Bet security service caught Maher Uda overnight Saturday near the West Bank town of Ramallah.
Uda has been on Israel's most wanted list since the 1990s. He is considered a founding member of the Hamas military branch in the West Bank. Israel blames him for the deaths of at least 70 Israelis.
Hamas has accused Palestinian security forces of helping Israel detain Uda. The Palestinian Authority has not commented on the case.
The Palestinian Authority runs the West Bank, while Hamas has control over the Gaza Strip. The Palestinian Islamist group took control of Gaza in 2007, after battling forces loyal to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas.
Israeli troops and the Shin Bet security service caught Maher Uda overnight Saturday near the West Bank town of Ramallah.
Uda has been on Israel's most wanted list since the 1990s. He is considered a founding member of the Hamas military branch in the West Bank. Israel blames him for the deaths of at least 70 Israelis.
Hamas has accused Palestinian security forces of helping Israel detain Uda. The Palestinian Authority has not commented on the case.
The Palestinian Authority runs the West Bank, while Hamas has control over the Gaza Strip. The Palestinian Islamist group took control of Gaza in 2007, after battling forces loyal to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas.
Car Bomb Kills sever People in Western Iraq's Fallujah
Iraqi police say a car bomb has exploded on a busy street in the western city of Fallujah, killing at least seven people and wounding a dozen others.
Police say the bomb went off early Monday as a group of day laborers was gathering for work nearby.
Fallujah is located in Anbar province, where violence has been relatively low since Sunni militant leaders turned against al-Qaida in 2006 to help U.S. and Iraqi forces fight the insurgents.
The car bombing comes as Iraq is counting votes from March 7 parliamentary elections seen as a key test of the country's young democracy.
Police say the bomb went off early Monday as a group of day laborers was gathering for work nearby.
Fallujah is located in Anbar province, where violence has been relatively low since Sunni militant leaders turned against al-Qaida in 2006 to help U.S. and Iraqi forces fight the insurgents.
The car bombing comes as Iraq is counting votes from March 7 parliamentary elections seen as a key test of the country's young democracy.
Israel Seeks to Ease Settlement Dispute with US
Israel is trying to ease tensions with the United States amid a fresh controversy over Jewish settlement expansion.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has expressed regret for the announcement of a Jewish settlement plan in disputed East Jerusalem that strained ties with Washington.
Mr. Netanyahu told the Cabinet it is regrettable the announcement to build 1,600 Jewish homes in an East Jerusalem neighborhood was made without his knowledge during last week's visit of U.S. Vice President Joe Biden.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made an angry phone call to Mr. Netanyahu on Friday and said the announcement was an insult that harms the peace process and ties with the United States.
Israeli commentators describe the timing of the settlement announcement as a fiasco, and newspapers speak of a full-blown crisis with Washington. But Mr. Netanyahu sought to play that down.
"I recommend not to get carried away and to calm down," he said.
Mr. Netanyahu said the "most important thing is that Israel and the United States have important mutual interests."
But relations between the two countries have soured since President Barack Obama took office more than a year ago and demanded a complete freeze on Jewish settlement expansion.
Israel refused, but eventually imposed a partial freeze on settlement construction in the West Bank. The freeze does not apply to East Jerusalem which Israel sees as part of its undivided capital, and which the Palestinians claim as the capital of their future state.
In the wake of the Israeli announcement, the Palestinians have back-tracked on an agreement to begin indirect peace talks after a 14-month stalemate. U.S. Envoy George Mitchell will return to the region this week, to try to get Israel and the Palestinians back to the negotiating table.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has expressed regret for the announcement of a Jewish settlement plan in disputed East Jerusalem that strained ties with Washington.
Mr. Netanyahu told the Cabinet it is regrettable the announcement to build 1,600 Jewish homes in an East Jerusalem neighborhood was made without his knowledge during last week's visit of U.S. Vice President Joe Biden.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made an angry phone call to Mr. Netanyahu on Friday and said the announcement was an insult that harms the peace process and ties with the United States.
Israeli commentators describe the timing of the settlement announcement as a fiasco, and newspapers speak of a full-blown crisis with Washington. But Mr. Netanyahu sought to play that down.
"I recommend not to get carried away and to calm down," he said.
Mr. Netanyahu said the "most important thing is that Israel and the United States have important mutual interests."
But relations between the two countries have soured since President Barack Obama took office more than a year ago and demanded a complete freeze on Jewish settlement expansion.
Israel refused, but eventually imposed a partial freeze on settlement construction in the West Bank. The freeze does not apply to East Jerusalem which Israel sees as part of its undivided capital, and which the Palestinians claim as the capital of their future state.
In the wake of the Israeli announcement, the Palestinians have back-tracked on an agreement to begin indirect peace talks after a 14-month stalemate. U.S. Envoy George Mitchell will return to the region this week, to try to get Israel and the Palestinians back to the negotiating table.
White House Advisor: Israel Underminin Mideast Peaces
The Obama administration continues to blast Israel's announcement it will build new housing in disputed East Jerusalem. VOA reports from Washington on the uncharacteristically blunt language that continues to flow between the United States and Israel.
Days have passed since Israel announced its intention to build 1,600 new housing units in East Jerusalem during a visit by U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, but the Obama administration's anger appears undiminished.
Senior White House advisor David Axelrod on NBC's Meet the Press television program.
"This was an affront, it was an insult," Axelrod said. "But most importantly, it undermined this very fragile effort to bring peace to that region."
Israel captured East Jerusalem in the 1967 Middle East war. Palestinians view East Jerusalem as the capital of a future state under a "two-state" solution that has been the focus of on-again, off-again Middle East peace discussions promoted by the United States for years. Axelrod said Israel's construction announcement makes an elusive accord even harder to reach.
"We just now have started proximity talks - that is, shuttle diplomacy between the Palestinians and the Israelis," Axelrod said. "And for this announcement to come at that time was very, very destructive."
Israeli officials have expressed regret for the timing of the announcement, but not for its substance. The government of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu continues to defend its policy of expanding Jewish settlements.
For decades, Israel has been America's closest ally in the Middle East and a top recipient of U.S. aid. Asked whether the United States is demanding a halt to new Israeli construction in disputed territory, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs had this to say.
"[U.S.] Secretary of State [Hillary] Clinton had a very clear conversation with Prime Minister Netanyahu where she outlined some steps that we believe he should take," Gibbs said. "I am not going to get into them here. That was part of a private conversation. I think the Israelis have a sense of what they need to do now."
Gibbs was speaking on Fox News Sunday.
Meanwhile, Palestinians have threatened to cancel indirect negotiations, which they agreed to one week ago, before the Israeli announcement.
U.S. Middle East envoy George Mitchell is scheduled to visit the region to lay groundwork for the indirect talks.
Days have passed since Israel announced its intention to build 1,600 new housing units in East Jerusalem during a visit by U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, but the Obama administration's anger appears undiminished.
Senior White House advisor David Axelrod on NBC's Meet the Press television program.
"This was an affront, it was an insult," Axelrod said. "But most importantly, it undermined this very fragile effort to bring peace to that region."
Israel captured East Jerusalem in the 1967 Middle East war. Palestinians view East Jerusalem as the capital of a future state under a "two-state" solution that has been the focus of on-again, off-again Middle East peace discussions promoted by the United States for years. Axelrod said Israel's construction announcement makes an elusive accord even harder to reach.
"We just now have started proximity talks - that is, shuttle diplomacy between the Palestinians and the Israelis," Axelrod said. "And for this announcement to come at that time was very, very destructive."
Israeli officials have expressed regret for the timing of the announcement, but not for its substance. The government of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu continues to defend its policy of expanding Jewish settlements.
For decades, Israel has been America's closest ally in the Middle East and a top recipient of U.S. aid. Asked whether the United States is demanding a halt to new Israeli construction in disputed territory, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs had this to say.
"[U.S.] Secretary of State [Hillary] Clinton had a very clear conversation with Prime Minister Netanyahu where she outlined some steps that we believe he should take," Gibbs said. "I am not going to get into them here. That was part of a private conversation. I think the Israelis have a sense of what they need to do now."
Gibbs was speaking on Fox News Sunday.
Meanwhile, Palestinians have threatened to cancel indirect negotiations, which they agreed to one week ago, before the Israeli announcement.
U.S. Middle East envoy George Mitchell is scheduled to visit the region to lay groundwork for the indirect talks.
3.14.2010
Israel Perplexed After Stinging Rebuke From US
Israel is perplexed after stinging criticism from the United States on its new Jewish settlement expansion.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu held an urgent meeting on Saturday with senior Cabinet ministers to discuss plummeting relations with the United States.
On Friday, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made an angry phone call to Mr. Netanyahu, saying Israel's announcement of Jewish settlement expansion in disputed East Jerusalem is "a deeply negative signal" for the Middle East peace process and ties with the U.S.
The Israeli announcement came last Tuesday, during a visit by U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, and Clinton described the timing as an insult.
Mr. Netanyahu said the announcement by the Interior Ministry was made without his knowledge, and the timing was unintentional. He apologized to Biden and had hoped that the matter was closed.
Israel's ties with the U.S. have plummeted since President Barack Obama took office more than a year ago and demanded a complete freeze on Jewish settlement expansion. Israel refused, but eventually imposed a partial freeze on settlement construction in the West Bank.
Israeli analyst Yoni Ben Menachem says the freeze does not apply to East Jerusalem, which the Palestinians claim as the capital of their future state. "Israel has the right to continue and to build in Jerusalem and in East Jerusalem, and this is the formal policy of this government. And this our right to build in Jerusalem our capital," he said.
But he says the timing of the announcement was a fiasco. "This unplanned announcement embarrassed the visit of Vice President Biden to Israel. And maybe it was right, the right decision, but it was not so smart," he said.
The Israeli announcement threw a wrench into a U.S. brokered agreement for indirect peace talks, after a 14-month stalemate. The Palestinians say they will not return to the negotiating table until Israel rescinds the decision for new construction in East Jerusalem.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu held an urgent meeting on Saturday with senior Cabinet ministers to discuss plummeting relations with the United States.
On Friday, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made an angry phone call to Mr. Netanyahu, saying Israel's announcement of Jewish settlement expansion in disputed East Jerusalem is "a deeply negative signal" for the Middle East peace process and ties with the U.S.
The Israeli announcement came last Tuesday, during a visit by U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, and Clinton described the timing as an insult.
Mr. Netanyahu said the announcement by the Interior Ministry was made without his knowledge, and the timing was unintentional. He apologized to Biden and had hoped that the matter was closed.
Israel's ties with the U.S. have plummeted since President Barack Obama took office more than a year ago and demanded a complete freeze on Jewish settlement expansion. Israel refused, but eventually imposed a partial freeze on settlement construction in the West Bank.
Israeli analyst Yoni Ben Menachem says the freeze does not apply to East Jerusalem, which the Palestinians claim as the capital of their future state. "Israel has the right to continue and to build in Jerusalem and in East Jerusalem, and this is the formal policy of this government. And this our right to build in Jerusalem our capital," he said.
But he says the timing of the announcement was a fiasco. "This unplanned announcement embarrassed the visit of Vice President Biden to Israel. And maybe it was right, the right decision, but it was not so smart," he said.
The Israeli announcement threw a wrench into a U.S. brokered agreement for indirect peace talks, after a 14-month stalemate. The Palestinians say they will not return to the negotiating table until Israel rescinds the decision for new construction in East Jerusalem.
Anti-Government Rally Under Way in Thailand
Tens of thousands of anti-government protesters have gathered in the Thai capital to hold demonstrations aimed at toppling the government of Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajhiva.
The protesters began their rally Sunday, and say they will continue their demonstration in Bangkok for several days. Organizers say they are hoping for at least 600,000 supporters to turn out. However, unofficial counts so far say no more than 100,000 have appeared on the streets in what has been a peaceful demonstration.
Dressed in red shirts, the demonstrators have been arriving in the city for days, waving flags and shouting slogans.
Many are backers of former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, who was ousted in a 2006 military coup.
Mr. Thaksin currently lives in Dubai but is still popular among Thailand's poor and rural population. His supporters have been demanding new elections, which they hope will return him to power.
Prime Minister Abhisit said Sunday he has no intention of stepping down or dissolving parliament. He also said the government has no plans to crack down on protesters.
Tens of thousands of security forces have mobilized in Bangkok to maintain order.
Organizers of the protest, from the opposition United Front for Democracy Against Dictatorship say the demonstration will be peaceful.
The last opposition protest in April 2009 deteriorated into a riot which left two people dead and many others injured. There was also considerable damage.
Recent polls show that a large segment of the Thai population is fed up with protests, which have hurt their country's lucrative tourism industry.
Mr. Thaksin left the country to avoid a 2-year prison sentence on corruption charges.
Prime Minister Abhisit is backed by Thailand's upper class.
The protesters began their rally Sunday, and say they will continue their demonstration in Bangkok for several days. Organizers say they are hoping for at least 600,000 supporters to turn out. However, unofficial counts so far say no more than 100,000 have appeared on the streets in what has been a peaceful demonstration.
Dressed in red shirts, the demonstrators have been arriving in the city for days, waving flags and shouting slogans.
Many are backers of former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, who was ousted in a 2006 military coup.
Mr. Thaksin currently lives in Dubai but is still popular among Thailand's poor and rural population. His supporters have been demanding new elections, which they hope will return him to power.
Prime Minister Abhisit said Sunday he has no intention of stepping down or dissolving parliament. He also said the government has no plans to crack down on protesters.
Tens of thousands of security forces have mobilized in Bangkok to maintain order.
Organizers of the protest, from the opposition United Front for Democracy Against Dictatorship say the demonstration will be peaceful.
The last opposition protest in April 2009 deteriorated into a riot which left two people dead and many others injured. There was also considerable damage.
Recent polls show that a large segment of the Thai population is fed up with protests, which have hurt their country's lucrative tourism industry.
Mr. Thaksin left the country to avoid a 2-year prison sentence on corruption charges.
Prime Minister Abhisit is backed by Thailand's upper class.
3.12.2010
Number of Super Rich in India Doubled Last Year
In India, the number of super rich people doubled last year, largely due to a rebound in the economy. But India is also home to millions of poor people.
Forbes magazine's latest compilation of the world's super rich for 2009 includes 49 billionaires from India, up from 24 in the previous year. They have a combined net worth of over $222 billion.
Two of the Indian billionaires are among the five richest men in the world. The world's fourth richest man, and also Asia's richest billionaire, is Mukesh Ambani. His Reliance Industries is the country's largest firm, with a net worth of $29 billion. Steel tycoon Lakshmi Mittal, based in London, comes next with a net worth of $28.7 billion.
Some of these billionaires have made their fortunes in emerging industries such as information technology and retail, while others have been successful in such sectors as steel, real estate and pharmaceuticals.
The number of billionaires grew last year after declining in 2008 due to India's rapid emergence from the global financial crisis. The revival of capital markets, which doubled in value in the last year after being battered by the economic crisis, also helped increase the wealth of some individuals.
Much of the wealth in India was created during a five year period when the economy grew by nearly nine percent, until the slowdown in 2008.
"Rising tide raises all boats," says Anjan Roy, an economist with the Federation of Indian Chamber of Commerce and Industry. "The Indian economy is growing, and naturally those who are based here are doing fine, look at the corporate results, corporate operations are expanding, so obviously more people are getting more money."
India is now home to the most number of billionaires in the world after the United States, China, Russia and Germany.
However, the growing individual wealth in India is a stark contrast to the high levels of poverty that still prevail. According to the World Bank, nearly one-third of the world's poor are in India, with nearly half the country's over one billion people living on less than $1.25 a day.
The government says its greatest challenge is to ensure that the benefits of a growing economy trickle down to the poorer sections.
Forbes magazine's latest compilation of the world's super rich for 2009 includes 49 billionaires from India, up from 24 in the previous year. They have a combined net worth of over $222 billion.
Two of the Indian billionaires are among the five richest men in the world. The world's fourth richest man, and also Asia's richest billionaire, is Mukesh Ambani. His Reliance Industries is the country's largest firm, with a net worth of $29 billion. Steel tycoon Lakshmi Mittal, based in London, comes next with a net worth of $28.7 billion.
Some of these billionaires have made their fortunes in emerging industries such as information technology and retail, while others have been successful in such sectors as steel, real estate and pharmaceuticals.
The number of billionaires grew last year after declining in 2008 due to India's rapid emergence from the global financial crisis. The revival of capital markets, which doubled in value in the last year after being battered by the economic crisis, also helped increase the wealth of some individuals.
Much of the wealth in India was created during a five year period when the economy grew by nearly nine percent, until the slowdown in 2008.
"Rising tide raises all boats," says Anjan Roy, an economist with the Federation of Indian Chamber of Commerce and Industry. "The Indian economy is growing, and naturally those who are based here are doing fine, look at the corporate results, corporate operations are expanding, so obviously more people are getting more money."
India is now home to the most number of billionaires in the world after the United States, China, Russia and Germany.
However, the growing individual wealth in India is a stark contrast to the high levels of poverty that still prevail. According to the World Bank, nearly one-third of the world's poor are in India, with nearly half the country's over one billion people living on less than $1.25 a day.
The government says its greatest challenge is to ensure that the benefits of a growing economy trickle down to the poorer sections.
Swedish Parliament Labels Armenian Killings in Turkey Genocide
The Swedish parliament's passage of a resolution recognizing the killings of Armenians by Ottoman Turks as genocide is drawing strong condemnation from Ankara. The vote comes after the U.S. Congress's Foreign Affairs Committee passed a similar motion earlier this month.
Turkey has recalled its ambassador to Sweden and canceled a summit in Stockholm after Swedish lawmakers passed the measure Thursday.
Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan condemned the vote calling it irresponsible.
Similar sentiments came from all of Turkey's main political parties.
Turkish President Abdullah Gul, dismissed the Swedish parliament's vote. "We know very well how these decisions are taken," he said. "This decision has no value on our part. Those who voted are neither historians or scientists. No need to exaggerate this voting or make it look like more important than it actually is," he said.
Armenians say Ottoman Turks slaughtered as many as 1.5 million people from 1915 until 1923. Turkey recognizes that Armenians were killed, but says the death toll is greatly exaggerated. It says the Armenians died in a civil war which accompanied the collapse of the Ottoman Empire.
A U.S. congressional committee approved a similar resolution last week and sent it to the full House of Representatives. The move prompted Turkey to recall its ambassador to Washington.
Like the U.S., Sweden is an important ally for Turkey. It is one of the few country's in Europe that still strongly advocates Ankara's bid to join the European Union.
Swedish Foreign Minister Carl Bildt reached out to Ankara saying his government opposed the parliamentary motion and did not want it to undermine Turkish-Armenian rapprochement efforts.
Turkey and Armenia have been making inroads in restoring diplomatic relations and resolving their historical differences. Last October the Turkish and Armenian president signed a protocol to normalize relations. Ankara has repeatedly warned that those rapprochement efforts are undermined by countries passing motions accusing it of genocide.
Turkey has recalled its ambassador to Sweden and canceled a summit in Stockholm after Swedish lawmakers passed the measure Thursday.
Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan condemned the vote calling it irresponsible.
Similar sentiments came from all of Turkey's main political parties.
Turkish President Abdullah Gul, dismissed the Swedish parliament's vote. "We know very well how these decisions are taken," he said. "This decision has no value on our part. Those who voted are neither historians or scientists. No need to exaggerate this voting or make it look like more important than it actually is," he said.
Armenians say Ottoman Turks slaughtered as many as 1.5 million people from 1915 until 1923. Turkey recognizes that Armenians were killed, but says the death toll is greatly exaggerated. It says the Armenians died in a civil war which accompanied the collapse of the Ottoman Empire.
A U.S. congressional committee approved a similar resolution last week and sent it to the full House of Representatives. The move prompted Turkey to recall its ambassador to Washington.
Like the U.S., Sweden is an important ally for Turkey. It is one of the few country's in Europe that still strongly advocates Ankara's bid to join the European Union.
Swedish Foreign Minister Carl Bildt reached out to Ankara saying his government opposed the parliamentary motion and did not want it to undermine Turkish-Armenian rapprochement efforts.
Turkey and Armenia have been making inroads in restoring diplomatic relations and resolving their historical differences. Last October the Turkish and Armenian president signed a protocol to normalize relations. Ankara has repeatedly warned that those rapprochement efforts are undermined by countries passing motions accusing it of genocide.
Obama Delays Asia Trip to Continue Health Care Push
President Barack Obama will postpone for several days his trip to Indonesia and Australia, so he can help push health care reform legislation through the U.S. Congress. Plans for the president's family to accompany him on the trip have been scrapped.
President Obama will leave for the South Pacific region on Sunday, March 21, three days later than planned, and will return on Friday, March 26.
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs Friday dismissed reporters' questions about further delaying or even canceling the trip, saying Indonesia and Australia are vital to U.S. interests. "For quite some time we have been absent from this important region of the world. We have important partnerships that lead to increasing our security, increasing our economic growth and increasing the likelihood that we deal with important problems, in having strong bilateral relationships with places like Indonesia and Australia," he said.
Gibbs also said Mr. Obama's stay in Indonesia will be an important part of his outreach to the world's Muslims. "We are going to visit, obviously, Indonesia, the world's largest Muslim population, an emerging democracy. The president will follow up on his speech from Cairo in a speech in Indonesia, a key partner, obviously, in our counterterrorism efforts," he said.
The president's spokesman also called Australia a very important trading partner and an important ally in U.S. efforts in Afghanistan.
Gibbs said the president's wife and two daughters will not go with him on the trip, as had originally been planned, because of conflicts with the girls' school schedules.
Meanwhile, Gibbs said the effort to pass health care reform legislation has gained momentum, and Mr. Obama will make a final push for it, calling and meeting with lawmakers. "I doubt we would be where we are on health care after this long if the president were not personally invested in, from the very beginning, getting this done," he said.
Republicans in Congress are solidly against the president's health proposal, and the administration is working to enlist the support of Democrats.
The Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, says she is positive that Mr. Obama's decision to stay in Washington will help get the legislation passed quickly. "I am delighted that the president is going to be here for the passage of the bill. It is going to be historic," she said.
Key Democrats announced Friday that they will include reforms to college lending in the health care package. Republicans immediately denounced the idea.
President Obama will leave for the South Pacific region on Sunday, March 21, three days later than planned, and will return on Friday, March 26.
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs Friday dismissed reporters' questions about further delaying or even canceling the trip, saying Indonesia and Australia are vital to U.S. interests. "For quite some time we have been absent from this important region of the world. We have important partnerships that lead to increasing our security, increasing our economic growth and increasing the likelihood that we deal with important problems, in having strong bilateral relationships with places like Indonesia and Australia," he said.
Gibbs also said Mr. Obama's stay in Indonesia will be an important part of his outreach to the world's Muslims. "We are going to visit, obviously, Indonesia, the world's largest Muslim population, an emerging democracy. The president will follow up on his speech from Cairo in a speech in Indonesia, a key partner, obviously, in our counterterrorism efforts," he said.
The president's spokesman also called Australia a very important trading partner and an important ally in U.S. efforts in Afghanistan.
Gibbs said the president's wife and two daughters will not go with him on the trip, as had originally been planned, because of conflicts with the girls' school schedules.
Meanwhile, Gibbs said the effort to pass health care reform legislation has gained momentum, and Mr. Obama will make a final push for it, calling and meeting with lawmakers. "I doubt we would be where we are on health care after this long if the president were not personally invested in, from the very beginning, getting this done," he said.
Republicans in Congress are solidly against the president's health proposal, and the administration is working to enlist the support of Democrats.
The Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, says she is positive that Mr. Obama's decision to stay in Washington will help get the legislation passed quickly. "I am delighted that the president is going to be here for the passage of the bill. It is going to be historic," she said.
Key Democrats announced Friday that they will include reforms to college lending in the health care package. Republicans immediately denounced the idea.
Israel Restricts Entry to Disputed Jerusalem Holy Place
Israel has imposed a security clampdown on Palestinians in Jerusalem and the West Bank amid fears of unrest.
Israel sealed off the West Bank for 48 hours, saying police had intelligence information that Palestinian youths would cause disturbances after prayers for the Muslim Sabbath on Friday. This Palestinian was turned away by Israeli troops at the entrance to Jerusalem from Bethlehem.
"It's surrounded by soldiers. And now we can't reach Jerusalem to pray, and you know, to do the activities of the religion," said Mos.
There has been sporadic violence for the past several weeks since Israel declared two West Bank shrines national heritage sites: The Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron and Rachel's Tomb in Bethlehem. Some 3,000 Israeli police and soldiers patrolled the area in and around Jerusalem's Old City.
Restrictions were imposed on entry to the Mosque of al-Aqsa and Dome of the Rock compound, the third holiest place in Islam. Palestinian men under the age of 50 were barred from entering the compound, which is a flashpoint of Jewish-Muslim tensions. For Jews it is the Temple Mount, the holiest place in Judaism and site of the biblical Temples.
There were sporadic stone-throwing clashes in Arab neighborhoods of East Jerusalem. But the security clampdown had its desired effect, and prayers at the volatile Mosque of al-Aqsa passed quietly.
Israel sealed off the West Bank for 48 hours, saying police had intelligence information that Palestinian youths would cause disturbances after prayers for the Muslim Sabbath on Friday. This Palestinian was turned away by Israeli troops at the entrance to Jerusalem from Bethlehem.
"It's surrounded by soldiers. And now we can't reach Jerusalem to pray, and you know, to do the activities of the religion," said Mos.
There has been sporadic violence for the past several weeks since Israel declared two West Bank shrines national heritage sites: The Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron and Rachel's Tomb in Bethlehem. Some 3,000 Israeli police and soldiers patrolled the area in and around Jerusalem's Old City.
Restrictions were imposed on entry to the Mosque of al-Aqsa and Dome of the Rock compound, the third holiest place in Islam. Palestinian men under the age of 50 were barred from entering the compound, which is a flashpoint of Jewish-Muslim tensions. For Jews it is the Temple Mount, the holiest place in Judaism and site of the biblical Temples.
There were sporadic stone-throwing clashes in Arab neighborhoods of East Jerusalem. But the security clampdown had its desired effect, and prayers at the volatile Mosque of al-Aqsa passed quietly.
Clinton Vents 'Frustration' Over Israeli Jerusalem Move in Call to Netanyahu
The State Department says Secretary of State Hillary Clinton telephoned Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Friday to reiterate deep U.S. concern over an announcement this week that Israel will build more housing in East Jerusalem. The action coincided with an Israel visit by Vice President Joe Biden.
In one of the strongest U.S. protests of Israeli conduct in recent years, the State Department says Clinton told the Israeli leader that the housing move undermined both trust and confidence in the peace process, and American interests in the Middle East.
The telephone conversation, initiated by Clinton, was a follow-up to previous U.S. complaints about Israel's announcement Tuesday that it will build 1,600 new Jewish housing units in predominately-Arab East Jerusalem.
The announcement was an embarrassment to Vice President Biden, who had just begun a visit to Israel, and it threatened to torpedo a U.S.-brokered tentative agreement under which Israel and the Palestinians would resume indirect peace talks.
Prime Minister Netanyahu later expressed regret over the timing of the announcement but gave no indication it will be rescinded.
State Department Spokesman P.J. Crowley said Clinton, in her call, reiterated strong U.S. objections about both the timing and substance of the Israeli action.
He said the United States views it as a "deeply negative signal" about Israel's approach to bilateral relations, and counter to the spirit of the Biden trip. "The Secretary said she could not understand how this happened, particularly in light of the United States' strong commitment to Israel's security. And she made clear that the Israeli government needed to demonstrate not just through words, but through specific actions, that they are committed to this relationship and to the peace process," he said.
Asked if Clinton had expressed anger in her comments to Mr. Netanyahu, a senior U.S. official who spoke to reporters said "frustration would be a better term."
The Israeli decision to build more housing in East Jerusalem, which Palestinians hope to make the capital of a future state, prompted Arab calls for Palestinians to back out of their agreement have so-called "proximity" peace talks with Israel.
It prompted an intensive round of U.S. telephone diplomacy to try to save the agreement brokered by U.S. Middle East envoy George Mitchell.
Crowley said Mitchell and Assistant Secretary of State for Near Eastern Affairs Jeffrey Feltman since Thursday have called, among others, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, Arab League Secretary-General Amr Moussa, and the foreign ministers of Egypt, Jordan, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates.
Officials said Mitchell still intends to make a visit to the region in the coming days that was to have sealed an agreement on the proximity negotiations.
But they said Mitchell, the former U.S. Senate Majority Leader and Northern Ireland peace negotiator, might first join Secretary Clinton in Moscow next Friday for a meeting of the international "quartet" on the Middle East.
The informal grouping of the United States, Russia, the European Union and the United Nations has been trying to expedite negotiations based on among other things the "road map" to regional peace it issued in 2003.
In one of the strongest U.S. protests of Israeli conduct in recent years, the State Department says Clinton told the Israeli leader that the housing move undermined both trust and confidence in the peace process, and American interests in the Middle East.
The telephone conversation, initiated by Clinton, was a follow-up to previous U.S. complaints about Israel's announcement Tuesday that it will build 1,600 new Jewish housing units in predominately-Arab East Jerusalem.
The announcement was an embarrassment to Vice President Biden, who had just begun a visit to Israel, and it threatened to torpedo a U.S.-brokered tentative agreement under which Israel and the Palestinians would resume indirect peace talks.
Prime Minister Netanyahu later expressed regret over the timing of the announcement but gave no indication it will be rescinded.
State Department Spokesman P.J. Crowley said Clinton, in her call, reiterated strong U.S. objections about both the timing and substance of the Israeli action.
He said the United States views it as a "deeply negative signal" about Israel's approach to bilateral relations, and counter to the spirit of the Biden trip. "The Secretary said she could not understand how this happened, particularly in light of the United States' strong commitment to Israel's security. And she made clear that the Israeli government needed to demonstrate not just through words, but through specific actions, that they are committed to this relationship and to the peace process," he said.
Asked if Clinton had expressed anger in her comments to Mr. Netanyahu, a senior U.S. official who spoke to reporters said "frustration would be a better term."
The Israeli decision to build more housing in East Jerusalem, which Palestinians hope to make the capital of a future state, prompted Arab calls for Palestinians to back out of their agreement have so-called "proximity" peace talks with Israel.
It prompted an intensive round of U.S. telephone diplomacy to try to save the agreement brokered by U.S. Middle East envoy George Mitchell.
Crowley said Mitchell and Assistant Secretary of State for Near Eastern Affairs Jeffrey Feltman since Thursday have called, among others, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, Arab League Secretary-General Amr Moussa, and the foreign ministers of Egypt, Jordan, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates.
Officials said Mitchell still intends to make a visit to the region in the coming days that was to have sealed an agreement on the proximity negotiations.
But they said Mitchell, the former U.S. Senate Majority Leader and Northern Ireland peace negotiator, might first join Secretary Clinton in Moscow next Friday for a meeting of the international "quartet" on the Middle East.
The informal grouping of the United States, Russia, the European Union and the United Nations has been trying to expedite negotiations based on among other things the "road map" to regional peace it issued in 2003.
Google Adsense Tools and Tips to Increase Revenue
Google AdSense is very reliable and easy way for website publishers of all sizes to display relevant, un-obtrusive Google ads on their website's content pages and earn money. Because the ads are related to what your users are looking for on your site, you'll finally have a way to both monetize and enhance your content pages".
"The program is free, and combines pay-per-click and pay-per-impression advertising - meaning you get paid for valid clicks on the ads on your site or search results pages as well as impressions on your content pages. So go ahead and try this program."
The five keys to maximize revenue with AdSense are:
1. Earn more per click (while maintaining relevancy)
2. Have more pages that display ads
3. Get your visitors to view more pages that display ads
4. Improve your 'click through' rate (CTRs)
5. Get more qualified traffic to your site
Here are 10 easy tips to help you achieve these keys
and maximize revenue with AdSense:
Google AdSense -- Tip #1: Start now!
It is very easy to generating revenue with Google AdSense. After you're accepted to the program, just add a few lines of html code to your site (Google shows you how once you're accepted) -- and voila!
Within a few minutes, your site will begin displaying ads, and so you can start making money. Each day you wait means revenue lost. So, do it now.
Google AdSense -- Tip #2:
Create more content pages for your site -- and display ads on these pages.
All else being equal, the more pages you have displaying ads, the more money you'll earn.
Google AdSense -- Tip #3:
Whenever possible, use higher paying keywords in Contents, Heading.
Google AdSense -- Tip #4:
Create new pages with higher paying keywords (while maintaining relevancy).
Sometimes, selecting different keywords on the same topic can create a substantial difference in how much you earn.
You can use this information to decide which relevant keywords to focus on as you create new pages for your site.
Google AdSense -- Tip #5:
If you want to create a brand new site to take advantage of Google AdSense, you may want to select a topic with high paying keywords.
Then, of course, provide great information on that topic.
But how do you know what the highest paying keywords are ? Google SEARCH!
Google AdSense -- Tip #6:
Get more qualified traffic to your site.
It makes sense that if you get more qualified visitors to your site, more people will naturally click on the displayed ads, and you'll earn more.
We offer some of the best available resources on how to get more qualified traffic to your site on our Internet marketing recommended resources page.
Google AdSense -- Tip #7:
Consider creating some pages for high search engine traffic, others to sell products, and still others for Google AdSense.
Recognize that different pages on your site can have different purposes. For example, some pages may be designed to sell specific products. Others may be designed to rank high rank in the search engines (but don't ever try to trick the search engines). Still others can be designed for Google AdSense.
Google AdSense -- Tip #8:
Create high quality information pages.
An AdSense page should have great content about a very specific topic. Be very clear about what the topic is, and carefully choose the keyword (or key phrase) describing the topic.
Never try to 'trick' AdSense. Don't create a page on one topic and give it a file name about a different topic.
Above all, make sure the page you create offers great value to people interested in the topic. When you provide excellent information on a specific topic, your visitors will benefit and will be more likely to click through to relevant ads.
Google AdSense -- Tip #9:
Choose the best format.
As Google recommends, choose the best performing formats to display your ads. Don't use the Banner format, because people have become "banner blind" to a horizontal format.
"The program is free, and combines pay-per-click and pay-per-impression advertising - meaning you get paid for valid clicks on the ads on your site or search results pages as well as impressions on your content pages. So go ahead and try this program."
The five keys to maximize revenue with AdSense are:
1. Earn more per click (while maintaining relevancy)
2. Have more pages that display ads
3. Get your visitors to view more pages that display ads
4. Improve your 'click through' rate (CTRs)
5. Get more qualified traffic to your site
Here are 10 easy tips to help you achieve these keys
and maximize revenue with AdSense:
Google AdSense -- Tip #1: Start now!
It is very easy to generating revenue with Google AdSense. After you're accepted to the program, just add a few lines of html code to your site (Google shows you how once you're accepted) -- and voila!
Within a few minutes, your site will begin displaying ads, and so you can start making money. Each day you wait means revenue lost. So, do it now.
Google AdSense -- Tip #2:
Create more content pages for your site -- and display ads on these pages.
All else being equal, the more pages you have displaying ads, the more money you'll earn.
Google AdSense -- Tip #3:
Whenever possible, use higher paying keywords in Contents, Heading.
Google AdSense -- Tip #4:
Create new pages with higher paying keywords (while maintaining relevancy).
Sometimes, selecting different keywords on the same topic can create a substantial difference in how much you earn.
You can use this information to decide which relevant keywords to focus on as you create new pages for your site.
Google AdSense -- Tip #5:
If you want to create a brand new site to take advantage of Google AdSense, you may want to select a topic with high paying keywords.
Then, of course, provide great information on that topic.
But how do you know what the highest paying keywords are ? Google SEARCH!
Google AdSense -- Tip #6:
Get more qualified traffic to your site.
It makes sense that if you get more qualified visitors to your site, more people will naturally click on the displayed ads, and you'll earn more.
We offer some of the best available resources on how to get more qualified traffic to your site on our Internet marketing recommended resources page.
Google AdSense -- Tip #7:
Consider creating some pages for high search engine traffic, others to sell products, and still others for Google AdSense.
Recognize that different pages on your site can have different purposes. For example, some pages may be designed to sell specific products. Others may be designed to rank high rank in the search engines (but don't ever try to trick the search engines). Still others can be designed for Google AdSense.
Google AdSense -- Tip #8:
Create high quality information pages.
An AdSense page should have great content about a very specific topic. Be very clear about what the topic is, and carefully choose the keyword (or key phrase) describing the topic.
Never try to 'trick' AdSense. Don't create a page on one topic and give it a file name about a different topic.
Above all, make sure the page you create offers great value to people interested in the topic. When you provide excellent information on a specific topic, your visitors will benefit and will be more likely to click through to relevant ads.
Google AdSense -- Tip #9:
Choose the best format.
As Google recommends, choose the best performing formats to display your ads. Don't use the Banner format, because people have become "banner blind" to a horizontal format.
订阅：
博文 (Atom)
博文
